An idea for a short set of tales/SCP's. Humanoids are said to be the hardest to write well, so why not start there? I am really looking forward to feedback. Thank you for your time!
I've got a few thoughts that may or may not be of use.
First off, thanks a million for your remarks. I have implemented the changes you have outlined, and already it looks better. The degree mark alone was a lifesaver.
You are right about the MTF. Dang it. I thought about them sending one guy from the MTF, but really, one ordinary Foundation agent would do. I will add more about his arrest soon, but other things you mentioned seem more pressing.
I changed the report to something that made more sense (or at least made it a bit more clear on the state of the house). The inner thoughts are going to be a series of mental diary entries, so it will be more substantial soon. Or it could be a real diary. It's up in the air. I do need to add an interview, so I will look up how to insert one of those.
I will do my best to keep angst to an appropriate minimum.
Lastly, please do any edit that you feel will help the flow and keep readers on point. I can use all the help I can get!
Glad to be of service. Just did some minor editing, wanted to mention a few more things.
If you don't like any of the changes, you can change them one at a time or use the history tab to reset it to a previous edit.