First collapsible. Thanks to Silber, Metaphysician, Soulless, TyGently, AidenEldritch, MacLeod, LadyKatie, Moenennbys and Jekeled for their help.
This reads like a Meat Circus morality tale, which is a hell of a feeling to achieve. The tale has some nice prose throughout, and nails that sense of slight unreality throughout. You flesh out the setting just enough for it not to be bland, while also not infodumping the setting.
Overall, good job. While I might say this is a little more suited to the Wanderer's Library, it's still an good bit of writing.
I found it somewhat entertaining. I like the absurdity of the descriptions, and the way they line up in a weird way with one's normal expectations of the creatures and setting used. I feel like it's in an uncomfortable position, writing-wise, between being childish and complex - the language used is in some places appropriate for a fable or similar, while in others it gets just above that level in an unpleasant way. I'd try and make the tone and word usage a bit more consistent. The overall story was alright in that it works for what it is, though I feel it might be a good idea to push the weirdness a little further, since after the first bit it kind of falls away into nothing out of the ordinary for a regular fantasy setting. The underlying plot arc wasn't particularly impressive, and while I get the way the story is presented that's not necessarily the most important thing, it is something that can be done and I think the story would be better for it.