I have experience suicide first hand having survived my own.
This might make it more difficult to write about, then, especially given that people will be critiquing and potentially voting on the quality of the piece. It can be very stressful to put personal experiences into writing that people will judge, so again, be careful if you really want to pursue this.
I was and am having an anxiety attack over all this.
If hashing out ideas on the forum is making you anxious, you should take a break from the forum until you're feeling better.
Also i use British english when writing.
I'm fairly certain that none of the typos I mentioned were due to dissimilarities between US/UK spelling? It's just something to be aware of. Do you use a device with in-browser spellcheck? Installing something like that might help.
compelled to help due to the memetic pleas from the family member who sought help.
I'm not sure memetics work this way? "Memetics" does not refer to "some sort of brain-affecting effect", but rather the spread of information. Maybe you're thinking of a cognitohazard?
i am only trying to force myself be clear if only to myself.
I have metal issues that prevent me from functioning under stress.
Again, given this, you should really take measures to relax first before forcing yourself repeatedly into the stressful scenario. Writing for the site is meant to be a hobby, and if you find it harmful to your well-being, forcing yourself to continue isn't going to help.
My true passion in life is to entertain others and time and again life has proven me incapable of doing so.
This is a limited site, with a limited community, with a limited range of impact; not having a successful SCP article does not extend outside the site. We've had real-life authors join the site and decide this audience wasn't for them. That's fine. If the writing niche here doesn't suit you, simply find one that you enjoy more and invest yourself in something that makes you happier.