Let's take a look.
Writing quality is solid, and tone appears good. The word "hi-jinx" is most commonly "hijinks."
Agent ███████ and Agent Connors were transporting █████ ████'s belongings for study and containment when Agent ███████ began reading through his comic collection.
This, however, seems a bit unlikely. The agents responded to a suspected anomalous effect, and the only thing we know is that -1 through -4 attended the same party and read comic books. I'd imagine that the comic books themselves would already be suspect, and would not be something to page through. This is not to say mistakes don't happen; compare SCP-2310 for some similarities. Since it's a short 1/8 page ad, I can imagine that the agent was simply accidentally exposed to the page.
D-5683's background might earn some negative feedback, but it is realistic and I, for one, wouldn't call it a problem. Just making sure you're aware. It is approached well.
It's well crafted, but I can't help but feel that something is being left out. Clearly, the person they first were is still in there, and pieces of their history are being replaced with a fantastical story that lets them believe they've done what they want to…. Maybe that's the angle that's missing. Perhaps tying the fantasy closer to the lost desires would help? Making the connection clearer?
Finally, the ad text still needs a little something. Maybe that's the secret. That's where the tie between one's lost childhood hopes and one's new narrative is made.
This is good. It's very nearly ready to post.