First off, let me once more express my gratitude for your help and for the full critique.
Secondly, I will, indeed, shop this around a bit before continuing past the current edits that I've made upon reading your full review. I saw exactly what you meant there. The scip was, indeed, a herd what does weird things. To that note, I've taken much of what you said into consideration.
Gone. And, honestly, good riddance. As an employee of the Dept of Transportation, I stare at and correct road contracts all day, and the P.E. in those contracts got me into a bad habit. Thanks, actually, for telling me that I don't have to do it.
The non-anomalous anomalous-ness
After quite a bit of consideration, I think the Grey Mare would be better served as her own scip. Maybe contained within Site 47 which I headcannoned outta nowhere along with an MTF. However, you're right. She detracted from what should have been about an anomalous herd. ffs, the scip herself was only mentioned all of twice which, by my estimation, is not enough to warrant inclusion.
~Antitheft *wink!* device.~
As to the execution of the article, I understand completely where you're coming from on this. I've always tended to like scips that edge more toward the "story/context" side but which balance in a little of the "quirky/weird."
What it felt like was that I was trying to swat a fly with a Turbo Shark Pulverizer 6000 by having too much go on then specifically go out of my way to flag down the reader, lead them to the Grey Mare, and proceed to beat them over the head with a sign that read, "NOT ANOMALOUS HORSE HERE!"
As mentioned above, I will shop it around and expand accordingly. And after making these adjustments, might I get your opinion once again, friend?