http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/mf99k tabs 1-3
The main problems so far, at least from what people are telling me, is that there needs to be more characterization in the dialogue, and a more unique concept overall.
I also may need some help with she vs it pronouns.
so, I have a couple versions of the interview log up in my drafts for the dialogue rewrite.
I still need some brainstorming for making it more conceptually interesting, but here are a few ideas I came up with:
- post-warp anxiety disorder: perhaps a side-effect of using the teleporter is disruption of brainwaves, causing stress, panic and anxiety in certain circumstances
- elaborate on the organization she mentions
- elaborate on the artificial-universe she mentions
- (ONLY IF NECCESSARY) multiversal SIM card
Personalities that will work for the girl (2618-2):
- must be depicted as somewhat absent-minded and/or distracted
- can be depicted as having an anxiety disorder/anxiety attacks
- can be depicted as naiive
- can be depicted as somewhat-hostile, but cannot be a serious threat. She might lash out, but if she does, she should be easy to subdue.