Alright, here's the article: http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/thebobchowder
Locking this thread as another exists for the same sandbox link, here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-1762629/a-beam-to-heaven
Authors, please do not create multiple threads for the same draft. Doing so is spammy and unfair to other writers who do not flood the forums with redundant threads. Furthermore, it helps reviewers a lot if feedback is kept in one place for ease of reference.
Also, please note that the forums tend to move rather slowly, and it can take a few days to get multiple reviews. If you don't want to wait, I recommend trying the IRC chatroom for real-time feedback. Alternatively, you can message a staff member and ask them to direct chat attention to your thread.