The writing is a little off, throughout the piece. It's not terrible, but it feels like it needs a few more drafts to make it feel polished.
The story isn't doing much for me, in that it's a somewhat superficial take on the noir thing. It's got the hard-drinking guy what doesn't play by the rules and all, but it's lacking the more fundamental elements that make that genre interesting; the larger mystery embroiling the protagonist, the unseen forces threatening the characters in the story, the action in the fringes of society. Pulp stories are written primarily to be entertaining, but there's also some dramatic elements in them that help make the action feel more satisfying.
There's also a sort of painful self-awareness thing going on that I don't much care for:
Though heroes probably don't need clumsy poetic sentiments to justify their actions to themselves…
"Will your after-action report address why you seem to think that Foundation resources exist solely to satisfy your deluded fantasy of being some kind of hardboiled detective-story character!?"
These lines made me cringe when I read them. What you're going for is pretty apparent; it doesn't really need to be lampshaded.
I'm not against the idea of a story in the Foundationverse being written from this kind of perspective at all, and in fact I like that sort of thing. But I feel like it would benefit from being played a little straighter and a little tighter.