Here's the latest draft. Be especially harsh, as I think it's close to being "done."
http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/agentstaggs (It's under Tab "1")
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Okay buddy, first thing off the bat "and is punishable by immediate termination." Termination could mean two things here. Either firing the offender or killing them. If it's firing them, you lose one employee who is in on the masquerade, and has to go through everything there is to forget it, and you have to train their replacement. Very expensive. If you mean killing the person, there is this thing called 'value of human life' which the Ethics Committee is big on and you would have to clear that with them. And you still have to find and train their replacement. May want to rethink this.
I've read this draft before. It's been worked on since, but this is the same idea that I read weeks ago. And it still lacks a hook and comes across as a generic thing that kills you. I believe I advised you to work the story into the bulk of the article itself. Please, please, please look into doing that. It's still difficult to get through because it doesn't hold interest very long.
Thanks for your repeated input. Upon reflection, I've taken to heart what I understand to be your initial criticisms (i.e. "SCPs are a good story first, and a wonkish clinical entry second"), which has in turn made me see SCPs in an entirely new light altogether. I can see now I was totally guilty of just trying to "role play" a series of researchers cobbling together this article without any concern for narrative interest or flow.
I will probably rewrite this one from the ground up as a result with this in mind.