Thanks for the input - you make some good points.
The final footnote was too long. Now it's less long and hopefully more good.
I really want to create a connection between the reader and the object, to give it more character. I was quite hesitant to do it directly for fear of having it come off as "that cool guy that everyone loves" which I've seen a few times and think might be played out.
I've tried to put put more humanity into the object by proxy through the addition of some "Site Director's Notes". I know that runs the risk of telling not showing but I hope I've pulled it off.
Thank you again!