My personal favorite of all the tales.
Date: 29 Sep 2016 18:42
Number of posts: 10
RSS: New posts
Awesome, loved it.
PS. Is the title from a Radiohead song? "…I keep the wolf from the door but he calls me up/calls me on the phone and tells me all the ways he's gonna mess me up."
This is absolutely brilliant and it might just become one of the greatest series on the wiki.
Thank you so much for writing this!
There are some sentences here that are wonky.
A scream that turned Lakshmi's spinal fluid to liquid nitrogen pierced the air.
I reread this like 5 times, because I was under the impression it was literal fluid turning to liquid nitrogen, because we're dealing with anomalies now. A traditional imagery is more useful here because it is already culturally engrained that is is symbolism.
5760 was a white flash of teeth and claws, cutting the tendril of hair that ensnared Lakshmi with one quick swipe of its claws
Repeat of the word "claws".
Lakshmi felt a scuttling sensation,
Feeling a sensation is kind of obvious. But to describe it as "scuttling" is vague.
saw dozens of the tiny skeletal creatures that lived the forest racing over her to defend their creator.
this could be described earlier in the series as a way to describe the setting.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?