SCP Foundation

SCP-XXXX is a psychological disorder (…) Symptoms include auditory and visual hallucinations, heightened blood pressure, and internal temperature levels exceeding 90 degrees Celsius.

Mmh. Are you sure the description as 'psychological' is accurate, considering that blood pressure and body temperature are not exactly psychological?

███████ Brayn checked into a local hospital complaining of a fever and hot flashes. Brayn was admitted (…)

Not sure what you want to do here. Why redact this person's first name? Or is it some sort of title, like 'Doctor'? Not clear. Anyway, if 'Brayn' is his (?) last name, why redact the rest?

Brayn was filed under SCP-XXXX, and containment procedures were put in place. Diagnostic exams were performed ██/██/38

Unless this is a matter of containment 31/12/1937 and diagnostic 1/1/38 (not a good idea when you redact everything but the year), why does the Foundation wait for weeks or months before analyzing an SCP which can be dangerous?

On ██/██/47, an additional individual was found displaying symptoms similar to Brayn. The individual was found wandering about 12 km outside of Chelyabinsk, Siberia. The identity of the individual was unknown, as was gender, and age. The individual was incapable of communicating verbally

Not clear. How did the Foundation learn about this person? How did they get to know about 'symptoms' if the person could not speak: just by watching them wandering in the Siberian countryside?
_{'You know what, guys, this individjual has a, ummm, fever-and-hot-flashes way of wandering. Very suspicious. Let's kill him.'} ;>

and was forcibly taken into custody with great difficulty. Containment attained following termination of the individual via sniper.

Why termination via sniper (= from far away, I presume) if the guy is in custody?

Brayn was put into a medically-induced coma, and study began on the brain patterns caused by SCP-XXXX.

IMO, it is a tad hard to admit that for ten years the Foundation never grokked about what was happening to Brayn…

On ██/██/54, four individuals were recovered in the remains of a Siberian village, the sole survivors of a mass fire in the area. They were immediately taken into custody, and screened for SCP-XXXX.

Umm. This is a bit too fast, I think… Why/how was the Foundation informed? Why directly test them for SCP-XXXX?

Interview with Patient-5
Interviewed: Patient-5

Not exactly. It starts with how the guy attracted attention in order to get an interview…? The Foundation being a scientific organization would not introduce this piece that way, I think.

Interviewer: Matthias Grüf

Who is Matthias Grüf? Agent? Doctor? Researcher?

Foreword: Patient-5 began speaking while in containment, requesting to speak with someone of authority.
<Begin Log, [optional time info]>
Patient-5: H-Hello? My name is ███████… Can I please talk to… someone?
Grüf: Yes, this is… uh… Director. I am the director here, yes, what do you want?
Patient-5: You can cure me..?
Grüf: You what?
Patient-5: I'm not well… none of us are, no. But you doctors can fix us?

Okay, I'm sorry, Moenennbys, but all this is a bit of a mess… maybe because it's not finished.
'Began speaking': this reads strange
Nowhere does Patient-5 mention 'someone in charge'
Why does Grüf lie? (and why does he do it so awkwardly…!) Or does he lie?
He says Director. Why does Patient-5 understand 'Doctor'?

The appearance of the entity described by Patient-5 has corresponded to that observed in the conscious of Brayn and other diagnosed patients. The entity is categorized as a common effect of SCP-XXXX. Co-operation with Patient-5 to determine the identity of the aircraft has been determined to be a priority.

This makes absolutely NO sense after the unfinished dialogue. What entity? How does it come to be suddenly 'categorized' as anything? What entity? The entity is an aircraft?
'Conscious': you probably mean 'conscience'

Between ██/██/57 and ██/██/77, 8 individuals diagnosed with SCP-XXXX were recovered from raids on Satriyomnyomf Facilities. The identities of the individuals coincide with various confirmed members of the group.

What on Earth is Satriyomnyomf Facilities? A few words of explanation would help!
Which individuals? Which group? This sentence reads like circular reasoning, as though you wrote 'These individuals form a group that comprises these individuals'!

I'm going to leave the rest, not clear at all because unfinished.

Right. So. Hindenburg. Mmmh. Can't say I see now how you can go from what you have here to what you wish to achieve… From Germany to Siberia to the US? What 'academy' are your referring to? What 'operatives'? Which 'trip'? The Hindenburg was destroyed in May 1937; why do we end up in 1977 or later? The Hindenburg contained fireproof pyromaniacs, but was set afire by the US? I am puzzled! ;>

On the other hand…