Please feel free to make any minor changes, such as grammar errors, sentences that don't make sense, etc. Please rate this page on this thread from 1 to 10. 1 being not ready to submit at all, and 10 being ready to submit
I'd rate this as a 2. I don't think there's enough here to grab interest. Also I'm pretty sure Japan didn't (and doesn't) have an equivalent to the USA's EAS. As this is being broadcast to Americans, telling them to seek shelter underground doesn't really make sense.
If you want to stick with the EAS concept and use a real life reference, maybe use the Twin Tower's attack in the recording instead?
EDIT: Having looked into1 the Emergency Alert System, I've found out that it was brought in in 1997 to replace the Emergency Broadcast System (established in 1963) which replaced the CONELRAD system (established in 1951). So referencing the Hiroshima bombing makes no sense.
Locking this thread as another exists for an updated version of the same draft. Reviewers, please comment here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-1938365/my-first-scp-draft-3#
Gunpowder0 and other authors, please don't make more than one thread per draft. It gets spammy and is unfair to other authors who don't flood the forums with redundant threads. Furthermore, it helps out reviewers a lot when all the feedback is kept in one place for more efficient access.
I might explore the opening sounds of the EAS.
*SCP-XXXX begins with the traditional Emergency Alert System sounds*
Just searching this online, I found out (at least in the US per Wiki) this:
"The SAME header bursts are followed by an attention signal which lasts between eight and 25 seconds, depending on the originating station. The tone is 1050 Hz on a NOAA Weather Radio (NOAA/NWS) station, while on commercial broadcast stations, it consists of a "two tone" combination of 853 Hz and 960 Hz sine waves, the same one used by the older Emergency Broadcast System. These tones have become infamous, as they are considered to be both frightening and annoying to many viewers; indeed, the two tones were chosen because they form an interval suited to getting the audience's attention due to its unpleasantness on the human ear. The SAME header is equally known for its shrillness, which many have found to be startling. The "two tone" system is no longer required as of 1998, and is to be used only for audio alerts before EAS messages. Like the EBS, the attention signal is followed by a voice message describing the details of the alert."
Maybe change the tones? You've already got a notoriety (which I agree with) that they're annoying and frightening, how 'bout jacking them up to make them even more terrifying and anomalous? Might be an avenue worth pursuing.
I'd also be very wary if you choose to utilize the Twin Tower attacks for your article, or really any recent events in American history. No matter what you choose, it's going to be hard to do it tastefully and without pissing someone off. I'd recommend just making something up. It'd be a lot easier.
Edit: In its current state I'd agree with the two rating above. It's pretty bare-bones as it stands.