Hello, I am here to give you some feedback !
Following Incident SCP-XXXX-a entity is to be placed in a 6 x 6 meter steel reinforced holding cell. Two armed guards will be placed outside the cell at all times, no one will be permitted into cell without express permission from the Head Researcher.
Are the dimensions of the cell important ? If the are not, it is not necessarry to write it here. Also, it can be dangerous, but only to person who touched it. In my opinion, I see no reason why shouldn´t it be contained in Standart safe locker.
If any unauthorized personnel is to touch SCP-XXXX the Head Researcher is to be notified immediately.
That doesn´t seem right. How about: " If any unauthorized personnel comes into contact with SCP-xxxx… " ?
It appears to be an average sized leather-bound book
Tell us something more about its appearance (for example its exact dimension), its age, its origin… Adding an image of old book would be improve it too.
If any human comes in contact with the entity then the object will immediately "write down" whatever the subject did (and thought) in the last 5 minutes. The entity will continue to right down actions until all pages are filled up.
This is little confusing and choppy. I mean, wouldn´t it be better like this ? "If any human comes in direct physical contact, it will immediatelly start to … SCP-xxxx will continue to write about subjects interactions untill all pages are filled up with text."
Any damage caused to the entity results in no actual damage.
I do not understand this sentence. What does it mean ? What do you mean with the entity ? Is it SCP-xxxx or its victim ? I am confused…
You may want to read this http://www.scp-wiki.net/understanding-memetics. It would help you to better understand memetic SCPs. But, in fact, I like the concept of your SCP. There is a lot more work to be done, but the idea of self-writing diary capturing the last moments of its victim seems good. That is all for now.
I hope I helped you, wish you best of luck.
-KL0GG
(Note: Last time I gave some tips to person who was looking for help, I noticed that my text was the only thing that got feedback. I think it is not necessarry to "throw stones" on someone who tried to help other people…
KL0GG, there's no need to sign your posts. Your username is already present at the top of every comment you leave. No one needs to re-introduce themselves every time they speak during a conversation.
Last time I gave some tips to person who was looking for help, I noticed that my text was the only thing that got feedback. I think it is not necessarry to "throw stones" on someone who tried to help other people…
Please notify staff of problematic site behavior, rather than using someone else's draft thread to note concerns pertaining to your own personal matters.
Furthermore, if someone corrects or explains misleading feedback, it reflects poorly on the initial reviewer if they interpret that action as "throwing stones". If you would like to address that response, please notify the person involved rather than making an offhand comment somewhere they can't see.
Let's keep this thread discussion focused on the draft at hand from here on.
My main issue with this is that it is a very standard and overdone type of anomaly. Something that compels one to interact with it, prior to killing them, isn't inherently interesting. Now, a self-writing diary could be the start of something, but you'd want to take it in a drastically different direction.
If you are dead-set on hypo-then-kill-o, try to consider what this things purpose is. How does it come to be? Why on earth would it kill people? Has this ever been important to someone? Who did it belong to? Does it have to magically attract and kill people? Everyone? Could you maybe explore certain people it 'targets', and tell a story with that?
Thanks for all these great tips, I will try to add them into the draft.
Just made some pretty major changes to the draft. Thanks in advance for any feedback!
