So, no one is going to reply with some critique…
Guess that means its perfect! and everyone likes it :3
time to post it, wish me luck!
So, no one is going to reply with some critique…
You waited three hours. Most people spend a couple days, often using the IRC chat.
Guess that means its perfect! and everyone likes it :3
The only thing no replies tells a person for sure is that there are no replies.
Aight lets see
monitored 24/7
By what? Are security personnel going to be needed? Cameras? Not particularly important because it's safe, just wanted to point it out.
Someone who is under Level 3 Clearance must…
Reads kind-of awkwardly.
68.58 cm wide and tall.
Any particular reason for this extremely precise measurement? And if this SCP is documented as being square by measurement, why is it not square in the documented picture? (Also is it supposed to be like a mini machine? normal washers are at least 1 meter tall, maybe that just flew over my head but it wasn't very apparent on the page)
When an object is placed inside of SCP-2745 along with an accompanying object after which…
Giant run-on sentence. Reads very sloppily. Also the footnotes are pretty imperative to understanding what the heck is going on in this paragraph, hence they probably shouldn't be footnotes. (I'm just not a fan of footnotes in general so take this with a grain of salt. They work really well for subtle details to add some spice to the page but many people use them as like "information centers" for facts and info that should be in the main part of the page to begin with.)
one object will have been detached and glued onto the other.
Detached from what? Itself? I'm just not entirely sure what's going on here.
only accepts water above 100 °C in temperature
Footnote 3 is fine, and I know I'm being nitpicky here but does the water come back out of the object? It has a water input but does it have an output?
</p>
Git that outta there!
which was immediately incinerated, having its ashes poured into bleach and…
The only thing I thought through this was WHY?? I get that we don't need to know what that substance was but at least give a reason why it needed to be destroyed with what seemed like reckless abandon. Was it a threat to physical/mental health? Environmental Stability? Was it going to make the earth explode? Was it dangerous enough to use and potentially damage SCP-914 to destroy? Remember the Foundation also has a duty to Protect its objects.
The testing was actually really funny, I quite enjoyed it and think this is a really good page (even though it does closely resemble 914) hence the nitpicking. Also Foot Note 4 doesn't read very "clinically", if there is a scientific term for Blue Cheese I'd use it, or just reword it so it doesn't seem so informal.
There are still a couple grammatical mistakes here and there so I'd run it through a grammar and spell checker. I'm not sure how this would be taken as its own SCP since it does almost read like a 914 clone… but it might just be different enough to make it through that hurdle, especially with the recovery story.
Not bad, not bad, I'm still new at doing critiques so my word definitely isn't law or anything. Don't take it too seriously lol.
So far, everything i get from this is
- Start from scratch
- turn it into a -j
- make it more serious to make it a miniseries
So what should i do, turn it into a J and make it a joke entirely?
or make it more series and turn it into a main series scp
or just stop.
and throw in the trash
i tried posting it
25 downvotes
3:
I'm going to lead off with a fairly blunt statement, so you're not confused as to my take on this: What you've done is blended all the worst parts of other, more popular, articles into a single bad draft.
There's nothing interesting about this. There's nothing particularly original about the concept or your execution. The reason it fails is because you're emulating those other good articles in a way that actually does them a disservice.
Now, how do you improve on this? I very rarely suggest that people should start from scratch, but the fundamental idea here is so derivative that you either need to change to a different idea or attempt a whole new approach. Think about what story you want to tell here, and try to tell that story with a different object, if you can. That's my suggestion.
Good luck, regardless.