I am considering changing the SCP to be the box rather than the sword itself and for it to contain several SCP's rather than just one (the original SCP will still be there.) You can review and critique the SCP here:http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/trumanstuff
Hi, im new too, so ill only critique grammar and formatting errors. instead of making you run around in circles, ill just go edit the page and you can roll back the revision if you feel i have damaged your scp in any way.
Yo NEVER do revisions or change work without permission beforehand. There's no need to put stress on the mods about noobs changing stuff that doesn't need to be changed
ok, noted, but i was only fixing grammar… and he can roll it back if he wants. ill just put my edited version here then.
Onto my 2 cents of critique, perhaps you could elaborate on what SCP-XXXX-2 is, or why it can hold this SCP. As you have written it, it sounds like it was constructed by the foundation. That leads me to believe that they should have some understanding of what it is and how it works (the container that is). other than that, good job. it'll take more than my approval to warrant adding it to the listings but i like it.
Doesn't matter. If he wants you to do work on it, fine. But don't take if upon yourself to do work on his article.
i was only fixing grammar…
I've taken a look at some of your work, Calavid. Given that your writing has recurrent grammar/mechanics/spelling errors, I recommend holding off on making any edits to others' work until you've written a successful piece yourself.
i shall take this to heart. im just trying to get out the whole "he only has 10 posts, he must be a noob" phase. and, yes, i understand i am a noob atm. but i wont get anywhere by just watching. i made a mistake, it wont happen again. im sorry.
Quality over quantity. A handful of well-written, grammatically/mechanically-correct comments will tell staff a lot more good things than a ton of ill-advised sloppy posts.
but i wont get anywhere by just watching.
Most of our experienced writers get to where they are by watching. Read discussions, forum threads, high-rated new pieces, and get a feel for where to look for good examples of how to act and write.
ill just go edit the page and you can roll back the revision if you feel i have damaged your scp in any way.
Yeah, this isn't cool. You ask if you can edit first. Front page of the sandbox says not to make edits to others' stuff without permission.
Thanks you made my work about half as easy, but next time ASK FIRST.
Your welcome :D, and sorry….
I'll start with what I first noticed
Please collapse long posts. ~Zyn
Nobody's safe from Zyn tonight. Many notes have been duly noted. ~Riften
As far as the idea goes, its not bad but its very one dimensional. Why does it open containers? Where was the claymore and (holder?) found? Is there any kind of story to it? Testing logs? I know its a work in progress but as it stands right now its just a big knife that makes people go crazy and kill themselves.
I wanna see how this one ends up in the end. Keep working on it ;)
Thanks ill fix those errors this should speed up the process
I am currently still working on it so the location it was found will be told in the addendum
TrumanStuff, you've been told this repeatedly. Instead of posting multiple comments in succession, please edit your previous post using the "edit" function under the "options" tab to the lower right of every comment. That prevents spam buildup, and it's in the rules.
It all just seems overly specific and uncoordinated, as if none of the anomalous effects are related. Is there out-of-universe backstory?
I believe it is pretty much ready to post i Just need a bit of approval on its current state
Sorry. This isn't going to survive in its current state. It is a generic story I've seen countless times before. 'Object exists. It forces people to interact with it. They go crazy and either attack others or kill themselves. End scene.' There isn't anything interesting here to justify such a simple and overdone 'ability'. Furthermore, the tone isn't quite up to par with what you'd expect from a mainlist article. It is written rather simply. You may need to take some time and read articles form the 1000/2000 range to get an idea for how SCP articles should 'sound'.
It has the ability to make people want to hold it. When both a humans hands make contact with SCP-'s hilt they will enter three stages of symptoms.
This first sentence is far too plain, and the second is…decidedly nonclinical. Here's how I would write this:
|SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties manifest when the hilt is grabbed by a human subject. This will only occur if the subject uses both hands. Direct skin contact is not required. The subject will not activate SCP-XXXX while using prosthetic limbs, with the exception of test SCP-XXXX/SCP-2806. This is believed to be due to the neural connection between the SCP-2806 and its host.|
The main problem is that there's nothing remotely interesting that is done with the concept. Why does only that box hold it? Why do people within 3 miles get depressed? Why the laughing fit? Does it have to force people to touch it?
Most importantly though: Why should I care about this article? Am I supposed to feel anything?
ETA: Reworded my suggestion, as it makes more sense for the ability to work in this scenario.
Fair point i reconsider posting it now I feel like i should revise some of the concept and thank you for the sample i will use that to reformat the first sentence (of course i will give credit to everyone that helped)