http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/praetor-avacyn
Time Magic Tab
The idea feels super cliche so i stopped before going much further. Tell me what you think so far and if it has been done before so I can stop before i spend any real time on it :)
http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/praetor-avacyn
Time Magic Tab
The idea feels super cliche so i stopped before going much further. Tell me what you think so far and if it has been done before so I can stop before i spend any real time on it :)
It doesn't look like you spent little time on it honestly. I find the idea intriguing. You think that the idea might be cliché. Why is that? I can't (with my admittedly terrible memory) recall something like this being done. Inevitably it has, but trying to make up a completely new concept is impossible.
Your writing is very good by the way, did anyone ever tell you that?
So, the anomaly 'freezes' time, essentially, for a particular pocket of space, for a particular period of time. I feel as if the implications of this extend beyond the possibility of nuclear fusion reactions as particles manifest into other particles. The implications for the gravitational forces acting on/within the solar system would probably be upended by this as well, resulting in unpredictable changes in the orbits of the planets, probably killing-off life on Earth in the longer-term.
In this sense, the anomaly seems way more powerful that the containment procedures give credit; speaking of which, the procedures seem awfully unrealistic, as is:
Amnestic agent SAAN-7 will be released en-masse, causing the memories of all humans to be modified to adjust to the new celestial surroundings around the solar system.
Even if the Foundation somehow possesses the resources and infrastructure needed to release the necessary amounts of amnestics needed to condition the memories of the general population, claiming that this will affect all humans is just way too contrived for me to take it seriously. My suspension of disbelief is pretty strained at this point in relation to the Foundation's containment capabilities. This is made worse by the fact that no attempt is made to explain how the Foundation could even achieve such a feat.
All computer records regarding astronomy are to be modified correspondingly.
This is something I similarly find a bit ridiculous. The notion that the Foundation would even attempt to uphold the masquerade if the anomaly hits the solar system is hard to believe.
The writing is decent, but generally lacks the clinical tone expected of Foundation articles.
SCP-XXXX appears to be a collection of invisible celestial objects travelling through the arms of the Milky Way Galaxy.
'Invisible' is somewhat vague, because it isn't immediately clear whether you mean that the objects are merely undetectable on the visual part of the electromagnetic spectrum, or all of it. I.e., can the objects be detected by infrared/ultraviolet sensors? It's later suggested that this is not the case, but it is never really made clear.
regardless of any changes to the fabric of the universe.
I wouldn't say that the 'fabric of the universe' is clinical phrasing. Perhaps simply describe this as the space-time continuum, as you do elsewhere.
resulting in a catastrophic chain reaction of atoms as they are forced together, often resulting in a massive explosion.
'Catastrophic' and 'massive explosion' aren't very clinical either. They're subjective, relative adjectives that don't really mean much in this context. How catastrophic? How massive? What you seem to be suggesting is that nuclear fusion may occur, though I'm unsure.
The largest such explosion resulting from such an event has rivaled supernovas in terms of intensity and power.
Again with the ambiguity regarding the size of said explosions. Like the above, this reads more like a laymans' educational science article than a clinical document accurately describing the anomaly's effects. There's a distinct undertone of wonder/excitement in this sentence, when really this should be an impartial brief regarding the anomaly.
Earth was only isolated from the rest of the universe for 1 second.
Seems to me as if this would have been enough of a difference to trigger nuclear fusion reactions all around the planet, probably burning it up in the process, no?
My final note regarding this draft is the confusion I feel after reading and comparing these two lines:
SCP-XXXX appears to be a collection of invisible celestial objects travelling through the arms of the Milky Way Galaxy.
SCP-XXXX is roughly 200,000,000 km in length and is currently passing through the Mebsuta solar system
I realise that you are talking about two distinct entities here, but it is pretty confusing that you never distinguish between the general phenomenon and this specific bundle of objects careering towards Earth. In the interests of clarity, I would advise consistently referring to the specific group of objects by SCP-XXXX-1 or SCP-XXXX-A or whatnot, as you did in the discovery log.
Thank you for your crit! Its certainly given me some interesting things to consider as to how to make the anomaly link better to its effect. The idea itself came from a scientific article i read about teleporting particles. This essentially accomplishes that since it teleports something by fixing them in place lol. Weird as way to describe teleportation. Ty for crit!