Can we use this on 682?
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"termination or death from blood loss". Is treatment not an option? People have survived worse.
Some poor schmuck has opened the can, and his face has exploded with "snakes".
While he's lying on the floor screaming, the can reseals itself (how? Does the lid autonomously move? Does a new lid generate?) and new "snakes" are generated.
What happens to the old ones?
This is a hilariously over-the-top prank item. That said, it has another reference to the foundation being filled to the brim with retarded researchers.
"Researchers are to be reminded that SCP-815 acts on the nearest person, even when opened by robot. I don't want to have to keep cleaning up these accidents, people."
I guess retarted researchers is a bit of an overstatement here, given some of the stuff that makes it into these. You'd really think they'd modify the security measures stringently to prevent that sort of thing after the first or second time it happened (the way it's written suggests this is a repeat problem).
I like it. Simple, safe, with an effect both original and amusing.
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