No full drafts in the forums, please. Make a sandbox page, put your draft there, and link it from the thread. ~Zyn
Here we go, comments made as I read:
- That is a tiny first-aid kit. As in, I don't think anyone would manufacture a kit that small. (10 mm by 10 mm is roughly under half an inch, meaning that kit's gonna be the size of a thumbnail, maybe.
- Why does the kit need to be exactly that size? Why next to a notebook?
- Site-XX, with hyphen and capitalization. Also, some people don't like it when locations are censored, since ideally nothing in the crucial instructions on how to keep the thing locked up will be censored.
- SCP personal should probably be "Foundation personnel".
- Why does permission for testing even matter when this stuff is freely available in a medical wing?
- Why is this thing available in the medical wing?
- 5 mm by 5 mm bandages are probably too small to cover much of anything, except maybe popped pimple scars. Better check your measurements?
- If it "seems pristine", does that imply that it's usually or expected to be otherwise?
- Only use "it's" when you can replace the word with "it is".
This kind of seems like a discount SCP-500, only with bandages instead of pills, and for external injuries only.
Right now, you have an object with a clearly defined activation and function, with no context or backstory, essentially a generic magic object. I recommend adding some more to this, because at this point the idea seems to be more of an entry on the log of anomalous items than an SCP object that would merit special Foundation containment.
To move forward, I suggest reading some of the high-rated and more recently-created pages, to get a feel for what the audience nowadays expects writing-wise. This page is a good place to start: http://www.scp-wiki.net/top-rated-pages-this-month