So I have an idea for a J-article.
The idea is that every duck on the planet is a highly intelligent, extra-dimensional organism, and they can be persuaded to grant any human immeasurable riches, if they only perform a relatively simple ceremony.
The ceremony (work in progress) is as follows.
Subject must don a duck costume
Submerge themself in a popular duckpond while no one is watching (snorkle recommended)
Emerge in full view of at least fifty people
Declare "I am the king/queen of the ducks, and you will all bow before me!"
The joke being that the article tries to get the reader to perform the ceremony, stressing how easy it is.
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"
"Yeah, but have you ever done it?"
"Then how can you be sure it doesn't work!?"