Draft of my first SCP
This is my first SCP, so be gentle XD. I came up with this idea while at work, thought it was pretty original, so I decided to run with it. I hope you like it. Second tab.
Draft of my first SCP
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» Draft of my first SCP
Summary:
An avian SCP of extraordinary engulfment
Your paragraph spacing is off; everything's crushed together, which makes it a bit hard to read. Easily fixed by hitting enter one more time.
As for the article itself…it's just rather boring. It's a pelican that can eat and regurgitate unusual things, and that's as far as it gets. It needs something else in it-some sort of story or hook to elevate it beyond just another typical SCP. As for what that is…well, that's the difficult part of it! I honestly don't have any ideas for this at the moment, but when you're coming up with ideas keep in mind the importance of the hook-think less about something that does a thing, and more about what's behind it: stories, motivations, bizarre happenings, and so on.
(Oh, and also keep in mind that putting blatantly unclinical things like "resembles that hammerspace thing from cartoons" doesn't magically make it clinical. That whole line just needs to be removed.)
Good luck!
E: I forgot wikidot's janky strikethrough rules.
Again, I thank you for your honesty. I have already made some edits based on some suggestions that another user said (on the accidental double-post no less) but it's interesting to see that you came to a similar conclusion. This is still very much a work in progress, but I like the base idea so I want to try and make it work.
Also the "hammerspace" thing was a rather strange thing to put, I admit. That has been removed.
Honestly this SCP reminds me of Kirby. I like the concept but it needs more. So far, it's just an animal that can eat anything and cough it back up. I'd just like to see more overall. You have a concept but no story being told.
Love and light to all.
I would be lying if I said Kirby didn't potentially inspire the initial idea somewhere. I've been a fan of the games since I was a kid. As I said, it still very much a work in progress. I am working on it.
/forum/t-2057812/draft-of-my-first-scp#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 30 Oct 2017 00:04
