EDIT: I've also added an 'experiment timeline' similar to the one on the bottom of SCP-294's page, let me know what you think of this idea.
Please collapse long posts. ~Zyn
Now that I'm finished with it, I feel as if I need to bring up the second major problem with this draft other than the lack of a clinical tone: no story. None. Nothing to hook me in, nothing to entertain me, nothing. It doesn't leave me invested, doesn't leave me entertained, doesn't do anything. Its just a magical object, nothing special.
Not gonna lie, two major problems with this draft from least to greatest:
- Terrible clinical tone. Needs major, major improvements.
- No story.
Get those two fixed. Please.