Like I said before, I like it
THIS TIME WITH MORE FIRE!
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This … is my horror.
- This is based on stuff that happened to me
- Some of the dialogue you've seen is real dialogue that some people have said to me
- Some of the events are real events that happened to me
- There is a reference to an anime somewhere
Thanks to DrOrganic, weryllium, hiei1020, Gunpowder0, don1charles, westydude and everyone else
Also thanks to my friends Leone, Moofy and Tsuruna for looking this over (if they happen to read this)
Thanks to Lyth for agreeing to pose as the face of Katherine Wagner
Some of the dialogue felt a tad melodramatic in places, but I feel like that was part of the character and it didn't render me unable to take the article seriously. It leaves me feeling sad and slightly drained, moreso than horrified, but I think that might've been part of what you were going for.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I've written a tale upvoted by Djoric, Bright, Echo, Yoric, Moose, VAE and Voct, fite me irl if you don't respect
There is definitely something to this - the emotional intensity is high, and the abusive relationship is a good choice of subject.
But the decision to make Max a Foundation staffer absolutely destroyed my suspension of disbelief:
This would be vastly improved if you changed the story so that Max is not a Foundation employee. Other than that, my major gripe is that the interviews with Kat had to resort to coyness every time her history was mentioned, which is the real tease here.
I have taken your criticism into account and have decided to change Deafaux's link to the Foundation accordingly.
The shift in her tone through the interviews leading up to that stinger was quite well-done, and retroactively strengthens the use of the chatlogs, which I felt at first to be a drag. I do have some issues with the logic of this not being discovered sooner, as well. Still not sure how I feel about this one.
I'm gonna review this thing like Dr. Wrong does his reviews so lets do it.
1. The concept is great, a girl that basically needs to be loved or else she will die, but with bad effects on the lover in hand
2. The chat logs and video logs are really disturbing and amazing, the character of SCP-TLoF was amazingly sound.
3. It scared me. Especially when she typed "you shouldn't be alive".
1. The interviews where really lacking and I didn't see much substance in them.
2. I would talk about psul's responce but you already got that covered.
While the chat logs can get a little silly at times, they are no less chilling when all is said and done. Combined with a more intimate form of horror than is seen in other entries, this article stands out to me enough to warrant an upvote.
+1. Well done.
I didn't think I was going to like this, but the more I read the chat logs, the more I was sucked in. The realization that she was more than one of those people hit me hard: I've been on both sides of that, in the past.
That said, I was expecting some kind of big reveal at the end that never came. I'm not sure what I wanted, but it just sort of ends on a note of "This is what I am, and oh well, it sucks".
I cannot tolerate the chat logs very well. They don't feel particularly real. They seem more caricatured than anything else. It became so jarring to me that I lost all real emotional intent to continue reading afterwards. if there were less of them, maybe, but there are a lot.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?