SCP Foundation

http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/agent-gecko it's a tale involving SCP-106 and SCP-682. Heads up, I refer to 106 as "Larry" for the majority of it, due to the nickname "Radical Larry." It's not meant to be taken too seriously, but I wanted to start a tales series called "Corporal Lawrence's Escape" with this to be the first tale in the series.

I like the ideas here, maybe because the dialogue is still telling us who says who the whole "Radical Larry" too often made me step away for a bit… I would expand on the doctor and his doubts of letting 106 engage against 682 and maybe leave some threads open for future reference/tying on upcoming chapters.

Maybe I would also minimize the "Radical Larry" references so it ends up as some kind of insightful, yet jokery nickname… but that could be just me, as I'm new on the site and this may be something I'm not fully aware :v

See, here's the thing. 106 and 682 are almost a decade old and have a ton of stuff made about them. There are quite literally over a thousand SCPs with no extra material about them at all.

This is a fairly common 'bad guys fight then team up' plotline. It's really hard to believe Kaisec got away with what he did, and I don't think 106 is even specified to be capable of speech in its article. Also, a pet peeve of mine: how the hell does 106 know about the other skips?

The dialogue is also pretty bad, i.e. it doesn't sound realistic to say in most places, for example

"I will do no such thing, especially not in the presence of such a foul creature as yourself!

This sounds like a cheesy kid's cartoon villain. I struggle with dialogue too, so here's a tip I found helpful: read your dialogue out loud and see how natural it feels when you say it.