Alright, here we go. Comments made as I read.
I won't comment too much on grammar/spelling/mechanics since the main concept here needs the most work, but here are some things to keep in mind:
- "Photo took by > should be "taken by"
- "agent ██████ ███████" > capitalize the first letter in a title. Agent [Name], Researcher [Name], Doctor [Name], and so on.
- "one (1) class D personnel while a group of three (3) armed security" > Generally, the number (#) numeration is used for extreme precision measurements that can be fatal if misinterpreted, like drug prescriptions. You don't need to do that with easy-to-count things and whole numbers. It's something that many old articles do, but it's unnecessary.
- "marmalade hoverflies (Episyrphus balteatus)" > Italicize Latin names. So it should be "marmalade hoverflies (Episyrphus balteatus)"
- Only use "it's" when you can replace the word with "it is".
I admit that I didn't really feel interested enough in reading the tests at the end.
The main idea itself, flies that do gross stuff to humans, isn't too interesting since we have a lot of similar articles. There isn't much detail about the flies actually controlling humans, and I'm just not sure why these flies go after humans in particular.
This sort of reminds me of SCP-1702, which is about humanoids that act like bees, but with a relatively complex social structure that makes them more than just a standard monster.
What makes these flies more than regular monsters? What's their story beyond "just another dangerous thing the Foundation has"? We have thousands of articles on the site, plenty of them bugs, plenty of them dangerous. What makes this worthy of attention compared to those?