Hi author :)
Feedback complete, good luck!
Wow, that's all the feedback I'll ever need. Thanks for being in-depth. I'll address these numerous problems.
I've addressed all of your problems with my article (I think). And made it a little less preachy and downplayed it so people don't think I added in unnecessary detail just to make it Keter. I changed some aspects of it that didn't make sense. The updated version of what I wrote can be seen in the same sandbox link.
Summoned by PM, feedback on second draft. (Sorry it took a couple of days.)
Feedback complete :)