I'm not even sure where this idea came from, but it wouldn't let me rest until I'd written it down.
Thank you, Photosynthetic, once again, for your help in making this better.
SCP-394 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-394.
The fact that these are ear candles, to me, is way squickier than any of the supernatural effects. It makes you lose weight, and then turns you into beef jerkey, and sends your smoke off to see some guy? Not that scary. It's a candle, you stick in your ear, and then light, and then wax drips down and it's all hot and sticky and inside your ear canal and it just burns and burns and burns and oh god, that's terrifying.
Admittedly, the whole idea of ear candles is odd, although really they more like wax-impregnated paper than true candles. The so called medical purpose of them is to wick out your earwax. Seriously.
But yeah, there are cases where you can get hot wax into your ear, and deafness is one of the better results. The suggestion that the Hopi used them is just as fanciful. But when has that ever stopped anyone?
Sorry you didn't care for it, but thanks for the read through and the comment.
A candle that burns your body fat instead of its own fat? Creepy enough for me. Although the Soviet Russia comparisons are almost inevitable.
I agree. I kept expecting a "Staff are forbidden from using SCP-394 as a diet alternative for weightloss" addenda.
Well, it's why it's locked up only for research purposes. And that's the interesting side of it. You don't know what it's feeding, after all, but it's guaranteed weight loss. Hell, *I* would be tempted. That's why it works.
And of course, since all it does is causes you to lose the pounds, there's nothing to stop you from doing it again. After all, they give you a second candle right in the pack. Who needs memes and mind control, when you can just give temptation and easy fixes?
I'll think about it, Sorts, but I was getting a little concerned with article length, and I have a tendency to lecture. Mmmm… Another addendum from the O5 level, you think?
No, an O5 scolding everyone for using it as a diet device would be terrible (and as Yoric said, predictable)
Maybe tighten up some of the less important verbiage and throw in something about how it's been recovered from people who knew its properties.
Right, we don't want to hit cliches. The site has a few of those, too. "Throw D's at it until it goes away!"
I'll think about it. This one seems to be getting more attention than my other two did. Coolness, I like.
Simple, but fun! I really like this one, especially the 'target it constantly moving' line.
Examination of the amatl showed chemical traces written in a previously unknown script.
Say what?
Addendum 394-3: Due to the increase in reports concerning spontaneous combustion and unexplained fires in the homes of typical ear candle users, the use of extreme methods to track and contain instances of SCP-394 has been approved. – O5-█
Skateboards. Guitars. Ninjas. All of it. There are morons out there sticking candles in their ears and burning down their houses. Find the list of extreme methods - we approve all of it.
(The article is great, but that addendum is out of proportion, and adds nothing)
…Now I kinda want to see a SCP where either the containment procedures require use of a guitar (electric or acoustic, I'm not picky) or the acquisition log featured a guitar in a significant role.
And admit it: the idea of a ninja Agent playing a killer guitar riff while XTREEM! skateboarding down a crowded street, with a huge fireball blossoming behind them… the idea is awesome in its total over-the-top ridiculousness. That being said, you could probably get away with a field agent dressing like that or doing that at a scifi, anime or comic con. SDCC, Dragon*Con and Wizard World, off the top of my head.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
The thing with the independently-moving smoke now makes me wonder if these are tied to the Fifth church.
Coming back to this one, I'm surprised I never upvoted it. It's always stuck in my head because of the very bizarre circumstances under which it's meant to be activated. As someone upthread said, the fact that you're supposed to burn a candle stuck in your ear is weird enough by itself! :D
This article has been reverted back to Revision 14 (with permission from UraniumEmpire) to remove the unauthorized changes that
LegoPaladin made to this article.
Mm Mm Good
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page revision: 3, last edited: 22 Sep 2018 03:57
