Hi author :)
I make notes as I read, so I may mention things you address later on in your text. If this is the case, then I will normally notice myself and mention the issue.
Having skim-read this, I can concluded it is, at its very base, a thing that kills for the sake of killing. Yes, there's the reanimation part, but that's just a bit of a sloppy addition, rather than a planned outcome that helps with the story-telling element of the article.
You also need to use the correct template, which you can find here, under the 'templates' tab.
On to the nitty-gritty anyway.
During the whole of the 'Special Containment Procedures', you don't actually tell us where or how this object is being contained. This is vital information that should be included within this section.
Under no circumstances, other then testing purposes, should Staff Members view SCP-XXXX directly.
'Staff members' does not need capitalisation. 'Personnel' (which also wouldn't need a capital) may also be a better replacement.
Under any circumstances other then testing No form of video monitoring equipment is to be used.
This sentence doesn't make sense (try saying it aloud and see how it sounds), and also doesn't need a capital with 'no'.
Staff members who come into contact with SCP-XXXX, wish to monitor and or SCP-XXXX, or have been assigned to SCP-XXXX must have experience in situations or conditions of one or more of the following
These seem like three unrelated groups of people - such as, the people who 'come into contact with SCP-XXXX' could do so accidentally, so there's no way to know in advance if they fit the criteria, whereas personnel assigned to SCP-XXXX are in a position where they could have been approached to see if they fit within this criteria.
Drowning
How does a living person experience drowning? Or does this mean if a family member drowned? How close would they have had to b to the event for them to be within this criteria?
Any form of water born disease
'Waterborne disease'.
Chinese water torture
Why specifically Chinese water torture? Why not just include 'water torture' in general, just like water boarding is?
If staff members are caught interacting with SCP-XXXX they are to be forcefully detained by a staff member that's meets the above criteria.
Again, this sentence ('that's meets the above criteria') doesn't make much sense, and nor does the content - why forcefully detained? Why can't they just be told to leave? How do they find it so easy to get in? What happens after these people are 'detained'?
Most importantly, as I mentioned before, you don't actually tell us where this object is, and how people are prevented from approaching it. Maybe personnel wouldn't have to be 'forcefully detained' if this object was actually secured somewhere.
25 feet and 52 inches in diameter, and standing at 5 7 inches off the ground.
The Foundation uses SI units, which, in this case, means metres and centimetres, rather than feet and inches.
produced by the ██████ company.
This is a sentence fragment - you need to add more in order to make it a full and proper sentence, which also needs to start with a capital letter.
Measurements have concluded that SCP-XXXX contains exactly 14,667.4 gallons of water at a constant temperature of 70 degrees Fahrenheit.
Again, metric, not imperial, measurements are needed here - maybe litres, but a better possible fit could be a cubic metre. You'll have to check with someone who didn't do badly at maths over 10 years ago to find out which is the better term to use, but gallon is certainly not correct.
Neither is Fahrenheit, as you'll need to convert that to Celsius, which is 21 degrees Celsius.
as over ██████ gallons of water was retrieved from SCP-XXXX in a two day period
I don't know why they would bother to hide that number. This is a good guide as to when you should hide information, and when you should show it. You don't have to hide details in every any article.
period,but in which SCP-XXXX still contained exactly 14,667.4 gallon size of water.
You need a space after the comma.
'but in which' doesn't make sense here.
It's okay, and more compact, to say something like 'SCP-XXXX still contained the same volume of water as originally recorded'.
Whilst I remember…
Measurements have concluded
is an odd way to say what you want to say here, and should be changed.
Water contained in SCP-XXXX is to be referred to as SCP-XXXX-1 as its anomalious property of inability to change state of matter under any circumstances, or change in temperature unless done so by SCP-XXXX.
What you're trying to explain here is unclear to me, and could do with being rewriting for clarity. I think you're saying SCP-XXXX (the pool) effectively uses its anomalous properties to do things like change the temperature of the water, but also that SCP-XXXX-1 (the water) is anomalous in its own right because it refuses to change temperature when removed from the pool.
This is both a topic that comes from no-where (hence the reader being confused when you start discussing it) and simply isn't written in a coherent way that your audience can understand with ease.
When humans come into any form of visual contact with SCP-XXXX, they express intense desire to enter SCP-XXXX to swim, individuals who desire to enter az SCP-XXXX will do any means to enter it, excluding inducing physical harm on others and forcefully entering it.
This is a run-on sentence which, much like the one before it, is written in a somewhat confusing way. I think what you're trying to say is something like this -
'When humans view SCP-XXXX through any medium, they will express an intense desire to enter SCP-XXXX. These individuals will attempt to use any means to enter it, excluding inflicting physical harm on others.'
I think for the last bit you're trying to say that the humans who want to enter the pool won't hurt anyone, but then you follow it up with 'forcefully entering it', which doesn't fit in with them trying to enter the pool in any way, apart from 'forcefully entering it'. It's more than a bit confusing in its current state, and I've had to guess at a lot of what you mean.
and contempt
I don't think you mean 'contempt', here.
for an endless amount of time, either expiring, forcefully removed from a SCP-XXXX or death through the many anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX.
This doesn't make any sense. You start talking about what they do in the pool, then talk about them expiring/being forcefully removed/death again even though you've mentioned death before, all without any connecting thread.
pretense of aquaphobia
I don't think 'pretence of aquaphobia' is what you meant in this context.
have shown to not desire to entire SCP-XXXX and when entering SCP-XXXX show great distress and express desire to escape.
'have shown no desire to enter SCP-XXXX', and you should try and avoid mentioning 'desire' twice.
In this many part, there's a few things I've left out, simply because I don't have the time to point out every single issue. So be aware there are some things that I've not pointed out, though I believe I've hit the most major of problems.
Once a human enters SCP-XXXX, SCP-XXXX performs one of an assortment of anomalious properties seemingly at random.
And that's the problem. Random doesn't equal interesting. In fact, when it comes to a SCP article, it often equals boring, and lacking in a strong, coherent narrative. You as the author should know why something happens and, even though you shouldn't spoon feed it to your readers, we should still be able to make an educated guess on what's going on - 'it's random' shouldn't be the answer.
SCP-XXXX's water jets increasing intensity to the point that humans cannot swim properly
You don't mention it has jets until just now.
Humans who die by any means of SCP-XXXX remain inanimate for a period of 25 minutes before reanimating again as SCP-XXXX-2.
How did The Foundation even discover this random outcome? When it was used in public, as I assume it was, were dead bodies just left floating around for 25 minutes? Why/how would The Foundation know about this situation?
Appearance of instances of SCP-XXXX-2 are all drastically different, dependent on the means of execution by SCP-XXXX, yet, all instances of SCP-XXXX-2 share similar characteristics, that being: bright blue eyes, impaired walking, and water flowing through the mouth, persumingly SCP-XXXX-1.
I feel like you're trying to write a dramatic and even unnerving reanimated human, but that's not what I feel when I read this description. I feel that this concept was slapped on at the last minute in order to make the scip seem more scary, when death is a cheap thrill.
All in all, if you want to salvage this, you have a lot of work to do. From things like changing sentence structures to making sense, to creating a coherent narrative for your reader, it's going to take some time to get this scip decent.
It's over!
Thank you for the critique, two quick questions, should I just remove the re animation part all in all? And Can't someone drown, essentially have they're lungs filled with water, then have that water removed from they're lungs? Or could that be something else?
You need to think of the story you need to tell, before you can decide if you need to start chopping parts out. What story did you think of telling when you start to wrote this?