This is not bad, but you need at least a million more paragraph breaks. Upvoted, though.
Date: 10 Aug 2010 19:38
Number of posts: 8
RSS: New posts
… ok, what? I know, there's no canon and all but.. really? Soap from Corpses Products?
Isn't that way too anormal for the foundation to use as a front, given it'll cause people to be curious, investigate for real…
… isn't 'anormal' what the Foundation tries to avoid? XD
Nope, I wasn't aware, and it still confuses me that someone apparently thought that was a good idea XD
Still, doesn't change my point of view, looks too weird imo, even the dialogue here makes it clear!
Hey, that was cool. I'm not a particular fan of the writing, and the dialogue seems oddly mechanical, but the story is actually great.