Hey all. I caused a lot of confusion when I tried to join the site. You see, my internet is what can only be described as completely fucked.
I tried to register as OllieGarkey and it didn't go through. Then I tried UilleamEanraig, and that went through. I confirmed my e-mail address and was signed in as UilleamEanraig. Until the next day. THEN I was signed in as OllieGarkey.
I have two bachelor's degrees: History and Philosophy. Not a double major, two degrees. That's what six years gets you. Also: student loans.
I love gaelic history and mythology, chemistry, archaeology, and astrophysics, though I'm not an expert at any of these things. Though I am an expert in history. (The third Punic war happened because fuck Carthage, that's why.)
As for the internets, I'm a patron of 420Chan, I've edited Wikipedia (who hasn't?), done some work on the John Galt (novelist) page, and once tried to start the meme: "John Galt is a Scottish Novelist." for shits and giggles, but nobody cared enough to piss off Ayn Rand fans. Not that I have a problem with Ayn Rand fans, but they tend to look at each other and say, sagely, "Who is John Galt?"
And they get rather angry when I respond, "An eighteenth century Scottish Novelist who wrote one of the first political novels in the English language, and is credited with inventing the term "Utilitarian." He also founded Guelph Ontario, and is kind of a big deal. He also…"
Yeah, everyone I know hates me, so I try to get approval from strangers on the internet :(
I'm really looking forward to working collaboratively on SCPs. I'd like to take actual mythical and historic artefacts and turn them into SCP's. Ideas I'd like to work on:
Gae Bulg (the spear of Chu Chulain, with a Memetic affect. I'm working on it because it's too similar to the Spear of Chaos. It may be made out of blood spruce [which I want to call Blüdfichten] instead of the bones of a seamonster)
The Appin Dirk (a Dirk sheathed in human skin which slowly twists the owner into a violent revolutionary)
The Stone of Scone/Stone of Destiny/Lia Fall and the other three treasures of Ireland/Gaeldom
The Knife of Abraham (one that causes a memetic compulsion to sacrifice/murder one's children in interesting and varying ways including via Munchausen's.)
Lot's Wife: A Rock Salt statue which is far too lifelike, and pulls sodium out of the bodies of anyone exposed to it to the point that they expire.
I'd also like to create a Dr. Character, Possibly Dr. Olliver W. Garkey, who lost his tenured position at a major research university for having an inappropriate relati being a lecherous, cigar chomping, alcoholic, bastard. I want his alcoholism and lechery to hurt him. A lot. He's Scottish, and so he'd love to be the person who always recommends that we stop wasting money and resources on things.
Class D personnel are expensive goddamnit, and they don't grow on fucking trees. You know what else is expensive? All that pretty lab equipment. Request denied. Make do. Also electricity. I don't care if the lights are flourescent and only waste pennies a day, we're getting rid of half of them. Through the entire facility and over the long haul, that's a lot of fucking pennies. It's not like the ones we have installed now are powerful enough to harm light-sensitive SCPs anyway. What? I don't care if half as many flickering lights make it creepier. This is a scientific installation, not a goddamn daycare. You want me to give you a teddybear? Would that make it less "Cweepy?" You want pastel-painted walls? You want nappies and cookies at lunchtime? Bah. [Puffs Cigar.] Although I might turn you over my knee and spank you if you ask nicely. My, you look absolutely fetching in that labcoat. [Pours scotch into coffee.]
I don't really have much done for him or much of a backstory, or any idea of WHERE he would fit in to the foundation or even what his field of study is, just some vague ideas. Possibly Archaeochemistry (that is, applying chemistry to archaeology in order to determine various facts. It's very new. I'm not even sure if that's what it's called. In fact, it's probably not.)