Right, Ye Olde Foundation take two, this time, without the batman villian esque doctors, and with more 1860's jargon!
Date: 24 Aug 2010 22:04
Number of posts: 10
RSS: New posts
Really, really weak dialogue here. Also, you failed entirely at giving it a period vibe, primarily due to ignorant narration. Do you really think there was such a thing as substance abuse laws in the 1860s, magnus?
I never claimed to be an expert on the vague time period that I mention in here. In fact, I didn't really set out to do anything involving historical accuracy.
then what's the point of writing a historical piece
if you're not going to do research then you may as well just have it take place in the modern day
…Eh. I dunno about this. I'm not downvoting mostly because I really like stories like this and I want to see more of them.
But it is really weakly written, the characterization is boring, and the situation is so goddamn standard. It's not terrible, but it's also not very good.
It's not perfect. The dialogue is a bit weak, and until I read the comments, I didn't even realize this was supposed to be set in the past. But the concept was good enough that i'm upvoting it.