Just posted it up. This is my first SCP, so please, if you have any feedback or corrections, let me know. Thanks!
Date: 17 Oct 2010 21:15
Number of posts: 39
RSS: New posts
The location of the scp should be redacted, not expunged. How can the Foundation contain something if they withhold where it is located?
It's personal preference on the issue if what should be Redacted or Data Expunged. If the author chose to use Data Expunged, so be it. The Foundation knows exactly where it is, but the expungment is used to prevent people who are not on the SCP-567 project from knowing where it is.
Finaly decided the monster filled prision? Still like it. Upvoting
Yeah, I went with the monster filled. The main arguments against it were "it is cliche and unnecessary", while the main argument for them was "without the monsters it just isn't that terrifying". I decided cliche > not scary, since in the past the biggest issue with my SCPs has been that they just weren't frightening enough. Glad you upvoted =)
I like it. The idea of a prison that can punish you itself for your crimes is quite interesting, but the monster thing kind of bugs me. We have a lot of SCPs that are sites which release monsters every so often, and I'm not sure if this SCP needs it, or if it just kind of confuses the actual danger of the SCP. The two phenomena it causes just seem unrelated, unless I am missing something, in which case, please tell me.
The way I interpret it, they're prisoners drawn in by similar facilities in other locations/dimensions/etc., all of which lead to some common super-prison. When escaping, they take the first exit that presents itself, and sometimes that leads to SCP-567. As for why they're universally hostile and aggressive: They're "criminals" (term used loosely) that have been sucked into some sort of alien prison and tortured somehow - that kind of thing doesn't exactly do wonders for one's mental stability, nor does escaping into yet another alien world.
I've already corrected this in the SCP and the test log, but for future reference: "Foundation" should be capitalized when referring to the SCP Foundation.
Wow, you more or less hit the nail on the head man. Also, thanks for correcting the Foundation thing.
I did have an initial intention with the monsters, but I was never able to articulate it quite right. I decided to cut a lot out to make the monsters more mysterious.
Long story short, yes the phenomena are connected, and I may to an incidence log later to sort of explain how, but for now they are just there.
Also, see about to read why I decided to keep the monsters.
"Incident" report, please. "incidence" is not a word.
Ah, sorry about that. Incidence is actually a word, but I was definitely using it wrong in the name of the report. Thanks for fixing it.
Thanks for all the positive feedback, I spent a lot of time on this one and I'm glad to see it paid off. I have to give a lot of credit to Crucible, for coming up with two of the best parts of this SCP. Erik, Alaenna, and Clocks also helped out quite a bit.
Also, so whoever it was who fixed the formatting on the audio log, thank you. I couldn't figure out how to do it.
I am lovin' it too. One curiosity: Isn't it a bit counterproductive for one of the agent requirements to be "*Be a [REDACTED]."? Shouldn't what it is be posted so that Agents know if they qualify? I can see situations where this might not be the case, though, so if you are sure it really is something they would redact until during the application process, I defer to your judgement.
It is true that this particular requirement is kept classified until you apply. If you think about the nature of the SCP, and the trigger conditions for each cell, you can actually figure out what that redacted is covering up. I added that [REDACTED] requirement as little something I found humorous, and it is a little silly, but I really does make sense.