Snipped. Goddammit, people, do not post works in progress in the forum. That's what the Sandbox Wiki is for. —Quik
That was a bit of a joke. Technically the category would be Keter class I think.
Firstly, it needs a lot of tone cleanup and tweaking. Phrases like "is apparently immortal" do not belong in an SCP article. Secondly, the Foundation is not in the habit of giving highly-dangerous humanoid detainees "any items [they] request". We don't go out of our way to torture or deprive humanoid SCPs, but nor do we bow to their every whim.
Oh, and this: "In case of containment breach, [REDACTED]"? No. Containment procedures need to be explained fully as these reports are supposed to be read by the poor sods who have to deal with these things. They need to know exactly what to do if an SCP breaches containment.
Those are minor points really, compared to my main issue with this. It's basically a ripoff of Liz Sherman from Hellboy, but with pyrokinesis replaced with electrical powers, even down to the psychological counseling and powers activating when under distress.
Sorry if I've come off too critical here, but it's how I read it.
I appreciate it, Richard. The "apparently immortal" bit should probably be replaced with the experiments that led to that conclusion. But I thought the "give her anything she wants as long as it comes under 200 dollars a month including replacements for the freqeuently destroyed clothes and furniture" was a pretty neat twist on that old whim-bowing gambit. Also I couldn't think of any better way to limit the indulgences of the object - should she get a new plasma screen every other day when she breaks it? Heck no. That nuclear power plant costs money.
As for the containment breach procedures, there aren't any. I thought we should break that to them gently.
And as far as I remember Liz Sherman never had any compulsions to return civilization to pre-industrialization stages. I guess they're both unstable and dangerous creatures capable of destroying half the planet if you say the wrong thing to them, but the same could be said for The Homelander, Supershock, Dr. Manhattan, SCP-053, Alan Moore…
Hmm… that is different to most spins on it, but it just doesn't sit right. I'm not really sure why…
There are no containment procedures? If we can contain 682, 217, 239, or any number of other SCPs capable of causing an XK, then there must be something we can do about this one (even if just in mitigation), we just haven't found it yet. You can't just ignore the issue by redacting it.
Maybe that was a bad comparison, but what I meant was that it just seems so similar to your typical 'girl with superpowers and a psych problem'. OK, so this one has the power to destroy the world, but then we've already got that covered (sorta) in 239. I suppose it just seems more like an X-Men character than an SCP.
Hey, there's the reply button. Yeah I lied about the procedure, there's one that amounts to "wait for it to quit and then try to pick it back up". I just thought that up. Such genius. I may be overstating the potential for it to not quit, I'm not sure.
And you're on the right track in thinking of the X-men. I wanted to do an X-men character that would work as an SCP, just for the challenge. I figured the fact that she has to stay in her cell* at every cost and every person coming face to face with her risks instantly dying might make the difference.
*Which by the way is about two cubic meters smaller than the UN approved smallest space a person should have to suffer the indignity of living in, just because. Limitations on the EM field generator, of course.
I'm fairly sure, based on past attempts that have since been deleted, that X-Men characters do not work as SCPs.
That proves either SCP is a horribly limited format for storytelling or no good writers have tried it.
Well this is true, I don't think your article is the one to break the pattern. Very expensive and exacting requirements, a mix of 'we don't know' and 'here's how it is' that contradicts itself and a recovery scheme that doesn't sit quite right. I do think you have good SCPs in you, this just in't one.
Why thank you. But what about the report tells you we don't know everything there is to know about the object? I may have to clarify something.
"This may be caused by X, Y or Z but we've found that dealing with Y is the reliable solution." Try again with a different concept though, the were-thunderbird isn't worth fixing.
Oh, I'm sorry if I gave the impression that counselling was actually dealing with any noticeable cause for transformations. We're talking about 0.5-10 transformations a day that can happen for basically any reason or lack of reason. Therapy is just the only thing that the Foundation can possibly do so it does it in order to feel like it's doing something important. But we couldn't go straight out and say that in the report, could we?
Ninja edit: I did notice an awkward bit about the effect of counselling I forgot I had written and changed it, so thanks.
I don't care for it. I like the idea, but… eh. It feels too much like something along the lines of Ironskin or Daughter of Shadows, but so much stronger. We also have Human Phoenix, which is slightly less overpowered.
It doesn't feel like an actual SCP.
You have a point, simply raising the scale of power doesn't make it scary. I think I went too far with the bland undescriptive format, leaving it entirely to the imagination just what this power could do. So I added a little dramatized narrative, or "experiment log" as they like to call it.
Well it's not exactly SCP-093. It's in fact a 218 word monologue. I figure it works best inserted in a little conversational therapy log inserted or attached to the report itself.
Like what is usually done. "Journal entry SCP-WTB"
You are correct, that standard articles are somewhat restrictive in what can be done. This is for a reason. SCPs are meant as short documents explaining an object that the Foundation has obtained, what it does and what they do to contain it form the public eye. SCPs are meant to be somewhat unsettling, at the very least. 093 is terrible in this regard, as the actual article is basically nothing without the logs.
I really really hope you don't try for a humanoid right now, for your first SCP. Most don't go over well. I did two before one stuck.
Trust me on this. My first SCP tried to tell a story. It didn't go over well at all, so I'm holding that idea until another time that I can make it work.
Also, don't come in here on your fourth day as a member and tell us that no good writers have tried doing it. They don't try because it's not the point.
…I'm gonna go ahead and say what no one wants to say.
This idea sucks. Don't write it. Just let it go, and spare us the trouble of deleting it. Please.
Yeah I had filed this under "things so bad they don't deserve a response" but I'm starting to think we shoulda put the bootheels to this steamy X-men romance novel sooner
but frankly this thread is just hilarious and I kind of want to see how low this can get downvoted while IQ indignantly posts about how his friends liked it best