Second page of a new Tale. READ IT, BITCH.
Date: 18 Jul 2011 07:01
Number of posts: 4
RSS: New posts
This is also excellent.
and a girl named Marjory who apparently knows a lot about cars. Whatever.
This is great for character establishment. In two short lines, we get something interesting about Marjory and we also learn a little more about the narrator. Nice.
The island is very intriguing.
Only one problem: I don't really believe that the narrator (or someone with him) wouldn't make the obvious connection between what happened with the airplane and what appears to have happened with the house. Doesn't need to come to the right conclusion or any sort of realistic conclusion, but he should at least speculate on the similarity; not doing so comes off a bit contrived.
I'm eager to read the next installment.
I can believe he wouldn't make the connection - he'd be in shock, have PTSD, etc.
I'm just surprised that he kept a briefcase instead of jamming the notebook in a pocket. Jacket pockets are also good for holding guns…
It had to be in a waterproof container, or the splash landing would have ruined the notebook and made my storytelling device impossible. A briefcase was the first thing that came to mind.