Hello all. This is my first attempt at an SCP, so I thought a review would be helpful. My biggest gripe with it is it's length. It seems too detailed, but I'm often my worst critic. Any help would be appreciated though.
Holy crap this needs trimming. I couldn't bring myself to read past the first few paragraphs of the description, and so far it seems like you have indeed put far too much detail into this. Anything that could be interesting is buried under other details (like the electricity, absorbtion of petroleum, etc).
It could be interesting, but it would need a lot of fat removed, first.
What would you trim down?
Pastebin link doesn't load. Might be just me, but why not put this up on the sandbox anyway?
Thanks for the warning. I'm new to the site, so I'm still feeling my way around. Pastebin is what I found first. I'll work on transferring it over, once I figure out the technical stuff.
Okay, we have a new sandbox link.
Okay. Not so sure what I think of this one.
It's confusing and difficult to read, at least partly because of sentence order; notably, "This outer shell continuously sheds cells , which possess the ability to fuse with hosts through unknown means." comes in the middle of a paragraph of description of the SCP's parts. And the next sentence referencing the cells - "Testing has found that subjects must be exposed to massive amounts of these cells in a relatively short amount of time. " - comes much later in the paragraph and appears to be missing any sort of lead-in.
we may need to consider upgrading this beast to Keter class.
That is unclinical and kinda overdramatic.
And the last report is just completely confusing. Rewrite it.