Looking for advice, critiques, and, if you feel it's deserving, stuff you actually like in this.
Autopsy later confirmed B████████ had died of multiple organ injuries due to high-velocity insertion of pennies into his abdominal cavity.
The tone is more or less OK. The writing has a few issues that I unfortunately don't have time to pick through at the moment.
My larger concern is, given the nature of this thing and enough time, what exactly is preventing the holder from turning an entire tectonic plate into pennies?
Solid, cohesive objects at least the size of pennies. Packed dirt isn't packed enough for the penny, apparently. A concrete slab might be. Solid rock would be. Letting someone with the penny near a mountain might have "interesting" effects.
I gotta admit I like this. I really only had two issues:
1) Wouldn't the manager that was "infected" by a penny be able to transmute the carpet? I know the individual fibers are small enough but a carpet's base IS one large, contiguous mat. I would suggest he had arranged to have the flooring replaced with sand or some such.
2) How do SCP-XXX-2 eat? One would think they would rather quickly die of thirst and/or starvation, or of suddenly having a large ball of pennies in their stomach.
Good questions. I thought for awhile about what would be immune to the penny-maker's touch, and decided that carpet, if thick enough, wouldn't allow any contact to be made with the base underneath. Of course, if it's got patches exposing the actual concrete, well…maybe I'm giving the quality too much credit. I do think he wouldn't take many precautions simply because he's a scared lackey fully expecting to be made into a slave or worse if anyone finds out, so he's just hiding in his office. Not a well-thought-out plan, but he's panicking.
As for eating, your options are very thin or otherwise tiny bits of food at a time, or intravenous feeding. Because the needle is smaller than a penny, no transmutation would take place. And liquids are unaffected. But yeah…Sorkin and the manager guy should have come out at least kind of malnourished. I forgot about that.
Anyone feel this isn't a particularly MC&D kind of thing? It's been pointed out to me a couple times in chat that the profit margin here is either very low or in the red. I've been thinking about reworking it as a much, much more amateur operation without invoking our favorite evil gentleman's club. I might post that version shortly here. Either way, the item will be unchanged.
Hmm, hadn't actually thought of "thin" or "bite sized" foods… Perhaps add in a bit that Sorkin was reduced to tears when he was able to eat something more substantive than oatmeal? Also, good point with the panicking station manager.
As far as MC&D goes, this does seem to fall outside their normal area of interest; at most it could be seen as a "secondary" thing they picked up along the way with something else during an instance of (of course) [DATA EXPUNGED] and were messing about with a way to turn a profit on it with the accident happening before proper results could be quantified. Seems much more likely to be a small-time black market ring that lucked out into getting hold of the "original" penny.
I would recommend using a new image for said penny, as it's kinda bleh;
A 1974 Hershey Penny. Before you ask, no it's not a chocolate coin. And yes, I am aware of the story The Chocolate Touch, which also plays on the Midas Touch as well.
A 1974 Penny without any distinct damage or wear.
Okay, so I've reworked the recovery log and interview. Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. no longer feature. They've been replaced by people who are probably the exact opposite of MC&D in many, many ways.
Now there's a test log to help define the item a bit more clearly, and I made the addenda more concise, I think.
The item itself is unchanged.
Even if you've looked before, you might want to look again at everything following the item description. http://scpsandboxwiki.wikidot.com/lasergoose
This just got 100 times better. I especially like the mood whiplash in the Sorkin interview, and the Midas-horror down at the bottom with the fireman and the "vanished" family.