This is an idea I've been working on. I was hoping I could run it by a few more experienced writers to for opinions, criticism, ideas for improvement etc.
I'm a bit of a noob with less-than-stellar tastes, but this is actually pretty good. It leaves a decent amount to the imagination, which I love. I would wait for others to voice their opinion, though.
It's a thing that makes you go blind, then lets invisible things bite you. It's two basic ideas mixed together into one beige-colored dish that tastes of rice cakes. I'm saying it's kinda boring.
The [DATA EXPUNGED] at the end gives me the impression that if I were to pull it off, there'd be nothing behind it. Unless I'm missing something, there are no hints in here as to what's actually doing the damage to the victim, so that expungement just seems kinda cheap.
I'd scrap this idea, honestly. You can do better.
Yeah, my primary concern while writing it was it might be too bland. The main idea was to explore feelings of sensory deprivation and helplessness, but maybe it didn't come out quite the way I wanted. Thanks for your advice.
The fact it does harm you actually make it less scary I think. That means they don't get scared because they start hearing things, they get scared because there literally is something there. The 2d glasses do that better really. (Forgot their number.)
If they died of fright maybe… I dunno. It's another weird mental effect really.