Criticism on the length, style, clarity, and effectiveness of the "excerpts" would be especially appreciated. I cut out a few sections (including one addressing its "Safe" status) because I thought they were unwieldy, but if you think there is vital info missing, let me know.
Date: 05 Mar 2012 03:29
Number of posts: 40
RSS: New posts
The testimony of her [REDACTED BY REQUEST]
[REDACTED BY REQUEST] and further notes
We need a few more words brought out of redaction.
yup, I can do that. I have another draft that… makes some reference to the redactions, so I didn't want to imply too much. The first one can probably be excised altogether— I'll have to think about it.
I think I see what you're doing, but I think you haven't implied quite enough.
Feels like that episode of buffy, with the girl who turns invisible. Not realyl that interesting. Downvoted.
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I haven't seen much of Buffy, but the episode you're describing (Out of Mind, Out of Sight?) turned up pretty fast on Google…
..ecch. Guess that confirms my worry that this is an oft-used conceit, if nothing else.
Eh, I saw more similarity to that episode in the guy who had to keep reminding people that he existed.
I like the idea of this one — playing with the phrase 'fading into the wallpaper' — but the execution leaves much to be desired. No vote for now.
Any particular part of the execution? Too much, too little of something— ?
I've considered revising the scenario.
There's also a Richard Matheson short story called "Disappearing Act" that has a very similar premise and - like the SCP - is basically composed from entries of the main character's diary.
That said, I like the vibe of the article. Upvoted.
Hum. Reminds of The Yellow Wallpaper and that's not a good thing, but it's not a bad article.
Okay, my mind is fully functional now. Like Gravity said, it is reminiscent of The Yellow Wallpaper. However, I think this is a legitimately good idea with good execution. Also, I would suggest less expunging and redaction.
I like it a lot.
I voted before learning it was possibly subconscious use of a previous story, but, regardless, I like it.
Un-voting, but this is still good writing.
Ha, in my (slight) defense, the only thing it sparked was a search for images of old wallpaper. The nature of its effects is pretty different (…and this wasn't a feminist criticism of forced-relaxation psychiatric treatments).
Buuut since it's getting a few "reminds me of…" I'll have to work on that, in the future.
Oh man, I didn't even think of the Yellow Wallpaper until it was mentioned in the comments. I don't think she's quite crazy enough for that.
What I like about this is that it's basically anomalous wallpaper + journal of researcher fading out of existence. There's a link, but they're not sure the SCP is the cause, and that's where the creep factor comes in for this.
Okay, I am really glad that someone took that from it— because that was the element I thought worked pretty well. I wanted it to be uncertain how much the SCP was changing the researcher's perspective— and how much it was changing other people's. Plus the implication that you can't really predict who it will effect that way… and the possibility that her records could be gradually lost over time.
… I just wasn't sure how well that came across.
If you want to keep it that uncertain, take out the part about the junior researcher seeing the piece tear away.
I disagree, that creeped me out the most. The paper peeling gave me a serious case of the jeebies.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I've written a tale upvoted by Djoric, Bright, Echo, Yoric, Moose, VAE and Voct, fite me irl if you don't respect
I guess it's a creep vs. uncertainty tradeoff. A matter of taste, of course, but I'd rather go with the uncertainty. The peeling bit seemed to erase the mystery for me, since it pretty much comes down on one side of the whose-perception-is-getting-fucked-with debate.
These changes have never added or subtracted more than six centimeters from the object's surface area.
Do you mean six square centimeters of area, or six centimeters of the perimeter moving in/out?
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
Both, and I was hung up on how to describe that— particularly how/if to note that the paper didn't seem to be shrinking or growing, but doing both at different times. But now I'm thinking an edit to square might make the most sense….
His appearance changed more than the scip's