A prelude, of sorts.
Date: 13 Mar 2012 00:52
Number of posts: 11
RSS: New posts
Okay, the rest of this story is great, but I think my favorite part is the Foundation getting there by claiming to be missionaries.
"Okay, captain, we've sighted the location from all angles, confirmed the anomaly's presence, and we need to get through the front door ASAP."
"Boys, time to pull the Jesus trap."
I quite like it and upvoted. Although I'm sure you didn't mean it as such, I think it's an interesting counterpoint/companion piece to A Day In The Life. A snatch and grab from two different viewpoints.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
I started this and conceived it all the way through before that was published, and my immediate thought was "Holy shit, how is he writing Tales inside my head?"
I don't often get downvotes on Tales, Tabbyclaw. Anything in particular you didn't care for?
I like this.
Minor nitpick, though:
She watched herself claw a grown man's eyes out of his head
From how often I see this happen in stories, you would think people didn't have cranial orbits designed to make it difficult to specifically damage the eyeball. Is it really necessary? Note it's not the gore factor that bothers me, just the overdone-ness. (Also, amused that the Foundation personnel comment on her going for the guy's jugular but ignore the Eye Scream stuff. As if they too were like 'man, that's so cliche' :P)