It's my first go at an SCP, and I want to make this as good as I can before posting it up on the site. It's inspired by a nightmare I had, and the idea was so bizarre to me that I still remember it all too well. I'd gladly appreciate any suggestions and constructive criticism! One of my biggest problems with writing is repetition, which I need help with, heh. Another thing I had trouble with was imagining the dimensions of the objects, so I had to look up a couple and guess on the room sizes.
The rooms for the coffins can stand to be a bit smaller. 5 meters is a fairly large distance and doesn't really seem necessary (human beings tend not to get any larger than 2 meters tall, for example). A simple storage locker might be sufficient for them. Likewise, the aquarium. That seems like a lot of space for a pair of bedbug-sized robots.
The sentences describing what happens when the victim is immobilized and infected are missing some detail. How does it get from the cut to the digestive tract? How do it and the eggs get from the digestive tract, back to the cut? It's sorta kinda self-evident but, in a scientific report, you have to detail these things.
A lot of the wording used throughout is not clinical enough. For example, when describing the aquarium. It might work better if you say:
Two instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are to be stored in a sealed water-filled container (dimensions up to you) with no air pockets.
That brings me to a bit of the repetition you were talking about, and I see what you mean.
This cell must be 40 m apart from any SCP-XXXX-2 instance, and must be overseen and done in the presence of a Level 4 Head Project Researcher, as well as a Level 3 Researcher.
The above is awkward and possibly not necessary. Instead, you can work it into the containment procedures for SCP-XXXX-2 with the following:
SCP-XXXX-2 instances are to be contained in (your containment method of choice) and must be placed no less than 40 m from one another or from SCP-XXXX-1.
There's also no real need for, "scattered at various points across the site" as that makes it feel as though it's just being dropped wherever you've got some spare space.
Among things that can be quickly fixed are: Replacing "hard" with "difficult"; replacing "rough night's sleep" with "experiencing insomnia"; replacing "SCP-XXXX-1 will awaken" with "SCP-XXXX-1 will become active"; replace "save all of the features of the victim (such as eyes, noise, ears, etc.)" with "save facial features" (saves a lot of space there too); you don't keep a D-Class up, you keep them awake. There are other breaks from the clinical tone but you'll have to find and correct them yourself.
How do they know it's a supercomputer? They clearly know that it's an electronic device of some sort, but it might be difficult to conclude that it's a supercomputer if all you can do is ask it questions.
Finally, aside from describing how they look, SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2 should always be referred to as SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2. Calling SCP-XXXX-1 "the bedbug" is a no-no, especially since you mention earlier that it's not actually a bedbug.
That's the short list of things that need work. I can't say that all of my suggestions are optimal, but they should, at least, improve the entry. Just remember this rule of thumb: If you're describing it to your friend and they just say, "Oh okay," you're probably doing it wrong. If you're describing it to your friend and they call you a dork, you're closer to being on the right track. Unless your friend is also a dork. Then you might need to describe it to someone else instead.
What was my point again?
Alright, updated a bit with your suggestions. I've never read 439 and 217 before. Didn't realize how close it was, whoops.
Yeah, I thought that the sizes might have been too large. It's hard for me to imagine containment area sizes unless I can actually make a 3d render of one, which I only can in school. I modified the containment area for the coffins (a storage locker installed in a smaller cell).
As for how the "bugs" get to the digestive tract and back, I'll work on a way to explain it without it sounding so awkward or weird.
Thank you for pointing out the tone changes. I'm doing my best to comb over and find them.
I don't know why I said supercomputer. There was probably a reason for it, but now I forget.
Thank you very much Flah for helping me and giving suggestions!