Nicely written, if a little flowery for my taste. The ending does hit a little suddenly and left me confused as to whether he really escaped.
Date: 18 Apr 2012 10:31
Number of posts: 4
RSS: New posts
Desperately in need of more paragraph breaks.
To be clearer:
(A) more paragraph breaks make reading easier, though they're not required, and
(B) when you have a new speaker, you have a new paragraph, and this is required.
Content-wise, it's… just alright.