I was pissed by the expungement until I read the classified note, then I was cool with it. I really like the idea here, but the execution could be tightened up a bit.
Date: 03 May 2012 20:37
Number of posts: 45
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as said before, spelling and grammar need a bit work. Also I really feel like the classified note should be written a bit more clerical, it kind of reads right now as a "Dun dun dunnnn!" type of paragraph rather then a "This is something we know and want to keep secret". Final thing is i think you could get rid of a couple of the expunges and replace it with a lie or half-truth like SCP-1000 tends to do.
I really like everything else, neutral for now though.
I downvoted because it needs some work. I also don't understand why we can't decode their light language when we can do an approximate job of understanding cuttlefish and squid signals.
emit large amounts of smoke while will begin to gather forming
This is a good example of why this needs work.
You can convey that there is something we're not supposed to know about 1660-7 without peppering so many [DATA EXPUNGED]s in there. It looks hokey. The classified bit was interesting, however.
I like that this is a pocket reality SCP that's not so ambitious as to include fifty different exploration logs. No MTF whateverthefuck task members going, "it looks like a bird sir. WITH TEETH." You cut through the potential chaff and get to the hook quickly. Good job.
First complaint is that there are so many typos, second is that's obviously a nautilus shell, third is the tone of that classified note. It feels more like talking to the reader rather than any sort of in-universe communique.
That said, the SCP-1660-7 picture works really well with this (except the moss is also labelled SCP-1660-7). It just needs some cleaning up.
So this is a pocket universe full of neanderthal lizardmen that worship the Foundation as gods?
…Somehow that sounds pretty cool. +1
Also, "Neanderthal Lizardmen" is a pretty good band name.