I've got the beginnings of an SCP sandboxed (http://sandbox.scp-wiki.net/kalinin), and I'd like to get some initial feedback. Thanks in advance.
Date: 16 May 2012 21:02
Number of posts: 4
RSS: New posts
Okay, bumping because the draft is now finished. Also, if someone can indulge an ignorant noob and let me know how one blocks out text more than one character? It's looking weird.
The way you're doing it is fine, doesn't look weird on my screen.
Anyway, as for feedback, I'd say the writing's good, but the concept is kind of dull. Unless I'm missing something it's a haunted apartment. Where's the hook?
Thanks for the feedback.
Looking back it at, I guess the hook's kind of buried. My thought was a non-descript apartment building that was basically being used by unknown, unseen parties to conduct experimentation on unsuspecting subjects; specifically, research that involves messing with people and breaking their brains. Originally, I thought I'd have the concept jump out at the end with the note that there's data being transmitted of an unknown variety, but it appears that it maybe wasn't fleshed out enough.
Essentially, the Foundation knows that someone is up to something with this thing, but is still trying to find out what exactly is going on, and in the meantime gets a supply of D-Class test subjects (albeit crazy ones that are really only suitable for a narrow range of experiments).
If that's a compelling hook, I think I can definitely rewrite to focus more on that angle.