I have to be mean and say most of it should be fixed. Grammar is needed ever where, you must remember to capitalise your "I"s. The tone is like a short description instead of a clinical report. The premise is not really interesting either, who's to say he isn't just some guy with forged papers and some teleportation device? Why would they keep him around, not just gather all the info from him and then wipe his memory or commission him into D-class work?
Flesh it out a bit more and it may work. I'm guessing the hidden year and his nationality must mean he is a Nazi or some high ranking Nazi officer.
Also, visibly shouldn't be included in a description, nor emphasised in italics.
I see your other points, But i don't understand how to get the more "clinical" article, Is there a tutorial or something i can read?
Alright, I added some stuff and fixed some more, Any more critisism?