I've got a draft SCP in the sandbox (http://sandbox.scp-wiki.net/kalinin) that I'm working on. I would appreciate any comments, suggestions and feedback. Thanks in advance.
Date: 29 May 2012 23:26
Number of posts: 7
RSS: New posts
Not bad. But I do have one suggestion.
For the thing on the wind, it shouldn't be coming from the west all the time, that suggests that the feeling is independent of the observer in a way that they shouldn't be able to feel.
Instead, have them feel the wind coming from the left or something, no matter which way they turn.
I like the idea, but I feel like a little too much is omitted. I feel it might be more creepy if a bit more is added. However that being said, it seems to be a pretty good use of [EXPUNGED]. Perhaps a bit more detail in the first addendum?
Its hard to give a good suggestion, but I feel its missing just a little something to give it a more lasting impression.
Thanks for the feedback. I agree, it needs a little something extra, however I'm trying to figure out a way to accomplish that without making it feel tacked-on. I'll keep thinking about it, and in the meantime I've made a couple of changes based on comments.
I had a thought… see how you feel about this. What if another set of pages had apparently been started before recovery copying the events up to 140-141 but not finishing? Indicating there might be another victim somewhere unrecovered. That might add the little bit extra this needs.