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I liked this until "lose all sense of fear.: that just seems like a silly effect. I was expecting something more elaborate than that. However, it isn't really that offensive other than that….so no vote for now.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
that's based on phobic reactions I've both experienced and heard others report. In my experience, once whatever induces the panic attack vanishes, so too do the symptoms, with many people unable to properly explain why they reacted like they did in the first place.
I believe this is a case of bad wording. The impression I get from the rest of the article is that you mean that once they're out of the corridor, they stop being afraid that the corridor is a source of immediate danger. What the phrasing of that part says, however, is that they "lose all sense of fear." What that suggests — and how I think Roget is reading it, though I don't want to put words in his mouth — is that they lose the ability to feel fear of anything, permanently. Try this phrasing:
In most subjects, the feelings of fear and anxiety subside immediately upon exiting the corridor.
This is pretty interesting. I'm pretty sure the Foundation could engineer some purely mechanical means of opening that far door without involving electronics… I like to imagine that they'd just find another hall or an empty room beyond it.
Sorts : sure, just blast it. Even if its barricaded at the opposite end, it ought to be possible to blow a hole in it. I initially included a line explaining that the prevailing theory was that currently the situation seemed 'contained,' a state that might change if they started blowing holes in the far door, but I elected to just leave it ambiguous for now. I like your idea of yet another hall!
A very well written article. Vaguely reminiscent 087, but also good enough to stand on it's own.
Take one free upvote sir. You've earned it.
Thanks! I think 087 is far more directly terrifying and overtly malicious/supernatural! SCP-087 is just one of those things that would make me fundamentally unhappy on a daily basis to know it existed in the world at all, which is why its one of my favorite SCPs.
This really plays into someone's irrational fear of well, everything. While 087 has a concrete, real reason to be feared, this article plays on everyone's own fear, and is just ambiguous enough to allow one's mind to wander to the worst possible scenario. If you're new, then welcome. Keep the good stuff coming.
Reptiles, fish and insects : None of these animals seem to be affected by the anomaly, and move about normally the entire length of the corridor.
If fish walk normally up and down the entire length of the corridor, then I think there's something more anomalous than just the unsettling feelings and electromagnetic interference going on.
Magikarp, I choose you!
Subject was observed to throw a fish oddly resembling an overweight Koi down the corridor, which proceeded to spasm and shortly expire due to suffocation. Subject remanded to psychological testing.
The fish are thrown. If they flop identically to fish thrown in regular corridors, this is an indication of no change.
More accurately, fish can be carried into the region, either by hand (so much as a gold fish in a plastic bag,) to via some remote conveyance. Their 'movement' would still be normal, which is to say no fear response or similar panicked state would be noted.
The Foundation has experimenters throwing fish down a hallway to see whether they flop more as they die than fish thrown down other hallways.
I see.
e: Okay, the plastic bag thing makes more sense.
Not a lot more sense, but close enough.
I just figured they put an aquarium on a cart and mechanically wheeled it in, recording whether the fish quote-unquote "freaked out" like other animals.
I mean really, do we have to spell out how it was tested with fish? The foundation is a collective of some of the most brilliant minds on earth. The logistics of exposing a water-based animal to a land-based anomalous object is trivial.
Eh, I'm on both sides about that. At the very least it should be cleared up to note that tests were run on creatures which included fish and found that they are not affected… the way it reads now about fish moving normally does at least cause a distraction while you try to ponder it.
Lucavex : that was more or less the idea, although I like the idea of the latter half of the hall just littered inexplicably with asphyxiated fish…
I mean really, do we have to spell out how it was tested with fish?
Yes. Especially if you're going to say that they "move about normally the entire length of the corridor," when the corridor is not a suitable habitat for a fish. Phrasing matters.
And I'd actually question the "some of the most brilliant minds on earth" part too, but this is probably not the place.
I'll take it into consideration. More detail is usually good, I'm just trying to avoid burdening an already lengthy article.
So shorten it instead. Change
Reptiles, fish and insects : None of these animals seem to be affected by the anomaly, and move about normally the entire length of the corridor.
to
Reptiles, fish, and insects: no detectable effects at any location.
I read this and downvoted.
I reread it, and realized I was being an insufferable hard-ass.
I read it a third time, and realized it was decent enough to upvote.
This is my first submission and I realize that it's not exactly nail biting stuff. Thanks for the vote, and if you have any criticisms, objective or personal, that might help future submissions (if nothing else,) I'm all ears!
The very fact that your first submission hasn't been downvoted to oblivion is promising. Most authors have several articles fail horribly before one finally manages to survive.
Well done, again.
The only bit I dislike about this is the … at the end; that's more of a storytelling technique (that I abuse like you wouldn't know) than something you'd see on a scientific report.
*facepalm* yes! Thank you for pointing that out. That is not something I consciously want to be there!
I think the thing I really like about this, is this could be just the tip of the iceberg. More hallways or rooms, producing more drastic or different effects. This is one of the few articles that makes me really want to know what is behind the door.
Again, thanks! (trying not to respond to every post here, but its a trick not to thank someone for compliments.) I wanted to compose something fairly inconspicuous for my first attempt, an SCP that the Foundation really just didn't have to worry much about, but at the same time that left a little guesswork, mystery and uneasiness.
At this point, a more sensible approach then blasting through the door (which might damage stuff on the other side) would be to dig down from the basement to the subbasement level and then dig horizontally to the room, in order to bypass the corridor. At which point they discover the fear effect isn't limited to the corridor, but is instead a spherical zone centered on the room. But hey, at least they tried.
I'm debating with myself now whether it would be scarier that way or if it turns out that there's no fear effect when you dig under it.
…
I'd rather not try to find out what's in there either way. I don't want Pyramid Head to suddenly pop out of there and start raping the Foundation.
I wonder what would happen if something not capable of fear walked down the hallway. There are people with pathologies that eliminate emotional responses. Many of them may be D class. Maybe they could send in 237's homunculi to open the door…
Solomen : or certain SCPs. I understand that Using 076 Able has already been tried and had less than desirable results, but there are still so many environments it seems obvious to try and unleash him on. "Alright, Able, you head down that seemingly endless flight of dark stairs. If you die, we'll interview you when you return."
As for fearless, the notion with the drug tests is to suggest that for some reason the anomaly is able to inspire a state in the human mind, bypassing most preexisting chemical or hormonal conditions. As far fetched as that sounds, there are studies which indicate that electromagnetic pulses can have profound effects on human emotion.
You have some tone issues. Let me bring them up.
housing SCP-1346 has been commandeered
'commandeered'.
almost 45 cm thick
Why couldn't we just write 'approximately' or '44.8 cm thick'?
An identical door sits closed
Doors don't sit. This of course is my opinion here, so this particular one may be iffy.
The passageway itself is a seamless, cement corridor having no other doors, windows or alcoves.
I don't think you need 'seamless' in here. It's not only iffy tone, but it's redundant with 'having no other doors, windows or alcoves'.
unshielded electronics
Whattya mean 'unshielded'. How does one shield the electronic against random fear?
Around this time, subjects start to report feelings
I use 'around this time' when writing histories for roleplay characters. For SCPs, I usually write 'during this time' instead. It sounds less vague-y.
dislike the subject harbors
'harbors'.
These behaviors are more likely to manifest the more often a person is exposed.
What behaviors are we talking about here? Are we talking about the 'heh, whatever' behavior, or the 'NOPE NOPE IT NEVER HAPPENED LA LA LA NOT HEARING YOU' behavior?
continues to be generated unabated even when power to the subbasement is severed
'unabated' and 'severed'.
Finches tend to avoid approaching the zone.
'tend to' is unnecessary here. You get the same results saying 'Finches avoid approaching'.
detected heavy, rhythmic thumps, like footsteps, moving beyond the door
Look, you can just say 'detected sound similar to footsteps moving beyond the door'. All this commaspam just makes it stupidly wordy.
Overall, I like it! Nice job, dude.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
(account deleted)
