Hola! Brand new to the Foundation, joined yesterday, and I was hoping on some advice and "positive reinforcement" from some seasoned SCP writers got my very first SCP. I know it might seem like I'm sprinting to release to post my first SCP, but I've actually been working on it for awhile. Take a look and, please, post a comment!
Welcome to the Foundation.
Although I'd start prepping for "constructive criticism" rather than "positive reinforcement". Some forum-goers will straight up tell you your idea sucks, but usually they will tell you why.
Alright here goes. First there are many mirrors on the wiki. Doesn't mean this won't work but brace yourself for an uphill battle on demonstrating why your SCP is unique.
Also I'm not sure, but I believe the whole "look at it, go crazy, and do bad things to yourself" angle has been done several times, so you need to make sure the effect is defined and makes a point. Think about why they disfigure themselves, and why this mirror exists. This might give you some inspiration to add a bit more to the article.
At this point I believe it will get the meh treatment. It just doesn't stand out well at the moment, but pretty good style and tone for a first attempt at an article.
psychological therapy till the affects of SCP-### are mitigated.
Effects, not affects. And use until, because the contracted form looks sloppy.
replaced by massive boils that were oozing puss.
Pus, not puss. you could instead write it like this: "replaced by massive purulent boils"
You should try to replace person with subject or victim, it's kind of boring to keep reading "person", remember to use some synonims.
This affect also carries on to other sensory organs, such as feel and smell.
Feel and smell are not organs, instead write "This effect also carries on to other senses."
I hope I was of assistance.
Still don't think this will help this idea being a mirror, but what if, when it shows the "horrible" version of the viewer, they become thoroughly convinced that that is what they really look like and that such an image is beautiful and normal people or images thereof are ugly, most notably images of themselves. They would also become highly vain and would attempt to draw or sculpt images or replicas of their "new" visage, becoming offended when people do not like them and trying to expose them to the mirror to show them the "truth".
Alternately, if a straight-up mirror is still to cliche, why not make some other object with a reflective surface have this effect?
1. NO REDACTING IN THE CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES.
2. Maybe this is just me, but I prefer SCP-XXXX to SCP-###. Nothing wrong with it, I personally just think it looks a little better…
3. Do you REALLY need to blackbox the name of the Agent? If not, it shouldn't be blackboxed.
4. Unprofessional tone. I…am not sure how to improve this, but there is a definite tone issue.
5. Affect should be effect.
That's all I can think of for now.
Thank guys, I appreciate the constructive criticism. I really underestimated the amount of effort that goes into these SCPs. Time to grind the gears and fulfill this SCP's potential.
I have a suggestion about improving tone. Do not describe what makes the people think they are disgusting. Boils, broken noses… I can imagine it too well and it'll just look boring in my head.
Personally, and this may just be me, I'd prefer the suggestion that no one else actually sees a difference, but people looking in the mirror will simply find themselves repulsive, without adequately describing anything physically different. You could do interviews with people looking in the mirror, who mention some stuff like boils or broken noses, of course, but nothing too specific. I think the real horror is in having the reader think what he would look like in the mirror, without making any hard suggestions.
This is strictly how I would write it if it were my idea though. I don't wanna claim it, so if you think yours is better then you can make it work.