What should i add / Remove to improve on my SCP, personally i believe it has potential. As you might have noticed my grammar is not perfect - Doing all i can to improve it as much as i can any ideas and suggestions are welcome ( The SCP should not really be called mirror entity or mirror ghost , but this is the only thing i have been able to come up with as of now )
Bro your link is fail, I'll try it again
editted, should work now.
Alright, when I saw mirror ghost I thought of about a dozen different things, but after reading it I think that this is unique (I may be wrong, but I've read a lot of these) and it's creepy.
But you've got mondo problems with spelling and grammar, and you also lapse in the scientific tone you're supposed to write in.
For example "The mirror seems to have some kind of draining abillity, making you thirsty and hungry, leaving you in a weakened state, where you only seem to be able" Second person pronouns, or any pronouns other than generic third person, such as "them, they, their" are a BIG nono. The correct way to do it is refer to the people affected as "subjects" because that's what they are, they are the subjects of your research into the device, and then afterwards refer to them as "they".
Also, you've got problems with scientific accuracy, it's both too precise in some areas and too vague in others. At one point you claim it restricts you to 50% of your endurance…how the hell do you measure endurance and how do you determine precisely 50% is gone?
At the same time in your testing log (And it's a testing log, not "Experimentation") you've got them saying "heartrate does an enormous jump" when it should be along the lines of "in ten seconds the subject's heart rate almost doubles."
It's a good concept…but there's a problem with spelling and grammar about every 5 words…
With your permission I'd like to edit it for spelling and grammar myself because I believe with work this is worthy of being posted. If you accept i advise you save a version of it on your own PC then tell me, I'll change blatant errors in spelling and restructure some sentences/paragraphs for grammar, but I won't make changes to the substance, that's for you to do.
At one point you claim it restricts you to 50% of your endurance…how the hell do you measure endurance and how do you determine precisely 50% is gone?
Well… Through the wonderfull devices and shizz the foundation has got in their possesion of course!
On a serious note, ill see to the things you have pointed out to me! Thank you for your feedback!
And I can't find it on the list, did you add it to the sandbox list? Because if your link is fail and it's not on the list you may have lost it…