A sequel of sorts to A Day at the Call Center, exploring the raid from its other side.
Date: 14 Jul 2012 16:40
Number of posts: 12
RSS: New posts
Is it just me, or does the casual tone seem a little…off? I don't know whether or not non-clinical language would be okay in a report like this, but to me it seems a bit strange. Also, Scantron uses the designation CA# ("Confirmed Anomaly [number of object]") in his 001 proposal as a UIU file. I don't know if you want to change that or if the "no canon" thing applies here (since if anything is not canon it would be the 001 proposals), but I'd figure I'd mention it.
The casual tone is intentional. It is implied Stanton is on very familiar terms with the Director, and the UIU are a ragtag department as it is. As for the designation, I don't think it's all that important, really.
The bit about "spooks" confuses me. I assume that in A Day at the Call Center it's used to refer to the UIU, but here it's used for the Foundation? A different term for one or the other would help to clear it up.
Also, maybe I'm thinking too hard, but "McNamera" seemed a bit obvious to me.
Nonetheless, this is good. +1 I suck at voting, somehow. Fix'd.
McNamera was just a random name I chose, nothing behind it. In A Day at the Call Center, Sami had no idea the UIU and the Foundation are things- he just knows some men in suits are after people who deal with anomalous objects. Here, the spooks are the Foundation. I used the same phrase intentionally- the "spooks" are always this big shadowy organization that the protagonist doesn't understand- the UIU and the Foundation for Sami, and only the Foundation for Stanton.
And I don't think you actually +1'd it.
As it has been said before, the tests were just fantastic. +1.