This is a rough draft, and please when I ask for help and advice I mean help and advice. In my last thread, I was asking and at first there were but eventually no one helped out. Anyways give me advice on how to improve this.
If you want help and advice, try out the IRC Chat. There's always someone there.
What did you think of the draft?
I think it's actually pretty interesting.
do you see any problems with it?
Not anything that's begging to be fixed right now but you should give it a whirl on the IRC Chat.
It's… kinda boring, honestly. It reminds me of an inverted version of SCP-605, and the tone is also off in places, and the description doesn't flow very well.